Beauty of death...

"Here, weary traveller rest your wand...Sleep the journey from your eyes..."

Monday, October 3, 2011

The story so far...

I was reading my "new resolutions" post and how ironic! I barely made any of them come true...! So these are the updates on the resolutions i had made earlier this year...

1. Focus On My Career

Well this one didn't didn't go off so bad. I'm still loving my job. All is well. I'm improving and being a lecturer is nothing but awesome. Cool friends, cool guys to stare at. And good opportunity to buy cute dresses and make up xD


2. Drop the Emoness

I actually laughed A LOT this year. I'm happy :)


3. Be Faithful to the boyfriend

Lol. What boyfriend?


4. Learn to cook

Erm.. I will actually learn to cook when I'm engaged to someone. I have no reason to cook now.


5. LOSE WEIGHT and live it healthy

Still fat.


6. Be nice to parents

I am... I think...


7. Be a WWF Volunteer.

Hey I'm donating like RM50 a month for WWF. That's a start, right?

8. QUIT online Games :- TOP!~

I DID! I freakingly DID and I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF for this!!!


9. Pay Debts.

My parents did for me ;)


10. Write in Journal/blog

Oh I am so in desperate need of an inspiration. Time to put the laziness aside and get my FINGERS TYPING!!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Holy Crap it's been 8 months!!!



Hahaha... Gosh I havent updated this since like January! What a terrible blogger-wannabe I am. A lot has happened since the last post. I guess that's the reason. You deal with so much in life, you're overwhelemed with too much happenings and inspiration that you suffer from the complete opposite of writers-block. Which apparently has the same symptoms of being honestly lazy at writing.



My personal life is still the same. My online life has changed a lot. My written life is on an eight-month delay. Eid just passed and I'm back at work from 10 days AFW. And I don't know, something inspired me to start blogging again. Probably the dream I had last night. It made me google for "dream predictions" which didnt return with anything interesting. But I did find some bloggers' dream journals that inspired me to make one too.



Of course no one can really remember the details of their dreams. all I remember from last night was that I was in a building with my colleagues and suddenly there was a flood. The whole place just sort of surrounded by waves of water, something like a tsunami and i was looking at it through a huge ass window. And the thing i remembered saying in the dream was "wow, if we had surfing boards we could surf here." kay in the dream it was something cool and calming but when i woke up I was obviously like "wtf?!" Then as i surfed (as in online) and read yahoo news, i saw this picture of some dudes surfing and there was a glimpse of a shark and i was like, "hey! deja vu!"



Ah!!! shark!!! (adopted from yahoo news 8th Sept 2011)



Well that being written and recorded... I'm off to work (or pretending to) now. I'll probably keep updating this piece of blog-wannabe with more weird lame dreams and life experience.

Monday, January 17, 2011

If You Can't Beat Them... Join Them!

It's been 3 months since i became an educator and I'm loving every minute of it. Everytime I step into class and start my lecture I can feel the excitement of the education world. Yes I have totally become a nerd. But I have fun, teaching my students all the knowledge I have, flash backs through my working experiences and seeing them interested in all the tiny details just made me satisfied with where I am career wise.

Though there are a few classes I prefer not to teach, with the students as rude as orcs, it still didnt change the fact that I am destined to be a lecturer. Yeah, once I was offended by the rude remarks as I got upset and left the class in hope to fail them all but I took a few minutes to just breathe and understand why they do it. I was a student once and i had this attitude that probably annoyed my lecturers back then. So what if they throw in a "stfu", a bunch of slutty giggles and snores off your lessons? Seriousness is plain boring. And if you cant control their behaviour by being remarkably pissed at them. JOIN THEM.

So everytime I enter class I see things through a new perspective. They are no longer monkeys that we're feeding in a zoo. (where sometimes i feel like bringing in a bunch of bananas to shut them up) But they are immature little beings who still can't tell the differences between "dos"and "donts" It's my job to set a good example and teach them what they need and how they take it, it's up to themselves. I can only do so much as a lecturer. I can't teach them how to become a human being. But I can teach them how to become engineers. And I enjoy sharing the jokes and laughters of the kids. Why be serious when you can be positive and have fun :)


Monday, January 10, 2011

Quest For The One...


While I was flipping through January's CLEO this morning, an article caught my attention. It was something about how guys are in search for "the one" woman that he claims his soulmate. Yeah, we so have been assuming the typical girl that guys want, the goodie-two-shoes, low maintenance, pretty face wh0 says basically nothing but does everything. The kind of girl who guys can feel good to be around with and have like 200 things in common. Then we roll our eyes and sigh when we fall to number 218 on the "the one" list of choices.


Is it fair that they (men*) get to choose the type of women they want to end up with and women have no choice but to 'settle' for any man that comes along? Is it because the population of women is larger than men that gives them the advantage of being "picky" and have the upper hand of being in control when it comes to soul-mate choices? Or is it their ego that gets them to this point where women just have to wait in line to be chosen?


It actually goes both ways. Women don't have to 'settle' for anyone who comes along if they don't desire to. Yes, it's true that choices are limited. The main reason why women don't get to pick is because there's not enough men of quality in line. All the good men are either taken, gay or dead. So what's left to be 'the one' for women? Some choose to just be found. Let the men do the seeking. Some choose to be single and focus on careers. While others, in desperation joins in the Fellowship of the Man-hunters.


Most women tend to seek for that 'father' quality in a man. While men are looking for beauty, a great cook, a great body etc, all women really wanted is for someone who's man enough to be a good father for their children. A man responsible enough to take up that job unconditionally. And the quest for "the one" will come to an end :)

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

WELCOME 2011, SAYONARA 2010!~




Remember the old school days when your teachers assigned you to write a complete essay about "New Year Resolutions" almost every year? Well those were the times we dreadfully forced ourselves to squeeze our brains in hopes for ideas. 15 years later, here we are, volunteering to write this essay. Now it's my turn...



2011 New Year Resolutions


27 Years breathing on Planet Earth. Almost 3 decades. Body of a women, Mind of a girl... Let's see how I intend to grow up this year. Welcome 2011 :)


1. Focus On My Career

Woot! I have a career believe it or not! Something I'm dedicated to. I love this life as a lecturer and I'm gonna do my best to rock it. I intend to be an educator with patience and understandings and maintain my beliefs and principles.


2. Drop the Emoness

Drama is fun. But too much fun is unhealthy. This new year I will try to evolve into a mature 27 year old, with less drama and emo acts. Everything happens for a reason. Time to learn to handle it well :p


3. Be Faithful to the boyfriend

Stop flirting around and playing the field. i'm NOT 16 anymore. Stay faithful. Just remember the times when "harmless flirt" got me in trouble. MASSIVE trouble.


4. Learn to cook

Well... Been my resolution year after year. Time to actually spend some time in the kitchen and dunk in those ingredients.


5. LOSE WEIGHT and live it healthy

Actually this should be number 1. I got Jeans i need to fit in so yeah. LOSE THAT ARSE! Should start worrying bout weight since I moved from size S to M.... Time to lose the carb and eat more fruits and vege. Or continue an old resolution (to become a vegetarian!)


6. Be nice to parents

About time to be nice now, since I'm living under the same roof :p Help doing chores... Cooking... and dont lose temper too easy! and oh yes no more sulking. You only get ONE pair of parents in a lifetime.


7. Be a WWF Volunteer.

I wanna go in forests and play with em tigers! Rawr!


8. QUIT online Games :- TOP!~

I really, really should... TOP has been the source of all my drama and emoness. There should be the time where I am supposed to roll up the curtains and give this up. For good.


9. Pay Debts.


10. Write in Journal/blog

Need to keep note of the going ons in life :P Will try hard to blog more about life and will start making a Diary called "Dear Lyra" and given to my future baby girl so she can know how her mama lived at 27 years old :P
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

What a Diploma Means...

3 weeks into a lecturer's life I found out about the corruption that's happening in the Education system. No, not by money... But by Compassion. While other students are struggling to get a diploma or degree in their universities, here it comes easy. I'm not criticizing the humanity and kind-hearts of the lecturers here but this condition just made me stare at my diploma i had earned in a similar institution, and how this devalues it.

All my 6 years of higher education I had worked my ass of to get to where I am. During my diploma, it took me a lot of sucking up to lecturer's and losing friends just to maintain my 3.9 cpa. Nothing came easy. I did everything i had to do, from completing all given assignments to studying hard for exams and focusing in each and every class. I did it the right way. No copying, no hitch-hiking. And i got what i wished for... A scholarship to continue my studies to a B.eng level.

And my hardwork didn't stop there. While most of my friends took the easy way to pass their courses (i.e cheating, copying assignments, sleeping with people to get it done etc) i took the federal road. Meeting my lecturers every 5 minutes and making sure ALL my assignments fulfil the requirements and studied HARD for exams. All hardwork and backstabs later, i managed to get myself an upper second-class degree, and a Vice Chancellor award though I did aim for First Class. But I was satisfied that I did my best.

But today I see life from a lecturer's point of view. Students take advantage of lecturers. They don't take education too seriously. And my colleagues are too kind to fail them, doing their best to make sure the students pass all papers. Diploma comes easy for them, they don't have to earn it. All they had to do was pay the RM200 semester fees and a diploma is practically handed to them. No need for hardwork, no need to pay attention in class and Final Exams are like theme park rides for them.

Of course I'm not saying that all educators are givers. Some are highly strict and don't seem to bow to students' pleas. But the education level in where I'm working is too low. I admit High School Education was more difficult. It makes me think, is my diploma even worth anything? If everyone is getting it easy, what would my hardly-earned diploma mean?

Students get loans, buy super-expensive cellphones and hardly buys themselves any stationaries or books. Or they spent renting hotels and humping around... Some even use the loans for drinks and cigarettes and drugs... They hand in assignments using DRAFT papers and lecturers feel sorry for them for coming from a poor or problematic family. In classes they fall asleep, in exams they copy each other... And at the end of 3 years, a diploma is handed for all these "efforts"

I stick to my principle! A DIPLOMA SHOULD BE EARNED NOT DONATED!!! So Dear students of mine, hand in my assignments quizzes in a PROFESSIONAL condition. Clean, completed and organized. Answer my quizzes and tests truthfully and don't even TRY to copy in exams. I didn't sleep through my education, so why should I let you :)

What a diploma means?
Hard work!

What a degree means?
Determination!


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Most Embarassing Moments xD

What an awful day today is! Only 3pm and approximately 2 hours till home time where i can finally take this piece of rag of my legs! New dress, looks all vogue and classy... turning heads around but as i sat down... krrrrrr.... It ripped where it shouldnt the most, revealing half my thighs! Oh My God!

It's a warning of how fat I am, i guess. Time for a super diet routine. Lose the fatass that's causing all my dresses to surrender but in this 2 hours of worktime left, i need a plan.. one that can save some humiliation. i need some instant remedy that can camouflage the rip. I need to save some dignity!

Feeling all paranoid and awkward just reminds me about all the humiliating moments of my life. And I'm pretty sure everyone had at least been through ONE certain humiliation. An experience they wish they never had. That moment in life where you just want to dig up a 6 feet hole, dive in and never resurface. But life goes on. We just have to learn how to live through it.

It's all about how you deal with it xD