WELCOME 2011, SAYONARA 2010!~

Remember the old school days when your teachers assigned you to write a complete essay about "New Year Resolutions" almost every year? Well those were the times we dreadfully forced ourselves to squeeze our brains in hopes for ideas. 15 years later, here we are, volunteering to write this essay. Now it's my turn...

2011 New Year Resolutions

27 Years breathing on Planet Earth. Almost 3 decades. Body of a women, Mind of a girl... Let's see how I intend to grow up this year. Welcome 2011 :)

1. Focus On My Career

Woot! I have a career believe it or not! Something I'm dedicated to. I love this life as a lecturer and I'm gonna do my best to rock it. I intend to be an educator with patience and understandings and maintain my beliefs and principles.

2. Drop the Emoness

Drama is fun. But too much fun is unhealthy. This new year I will try to evolve into a mature 27 year old, with less drama and emo acts. Everything happens for a reason. Time to learn to handle it well :p

3. Be Faithful to the boyfriend

Stop flirting around and playing the field. i'm NOT 16 anymore. Stay faithful. Just remember the times when "harmless flirt" got me in trouble. MASSIVE trouble.

4. Learn to cook

Well... Been my resolution year after year. Time to actually spend some time in the kitchen and dunk in those ingredients.

5. LOSE WEIGHT and live it healthy

Actually this should be number 1. I got Jeans i need to fit in so yeah. LOSE THAT ARSE! Should start worrying bout weight since I moved from size S to M.... Time to lose the carb and eat more fruits and vege. Or continue an old resolution (to become a vegetarian!)

6. Be nice to parents

About time to be nice now, since I'm living under the same roof :p Help doing chores... Cooking... and dont lose temper too easy! and oh yes no more sulking. You only get ONE pair of parents in a lifetime.

7. Be a WWF Volunteer.

I wanna go in forests and play with em tigers! Rawr!

8. QUIT online Games :- TOP!~

I really, really should... TOP has been the source of all my drama and emoness. There should be the time where I am supposed to roll up the curtains and give this up. For good.

9. Pay Debts.

10. Write in Journal/blog

Need to keep note of the going ons in life :P Will try hard to blog more about life and will start making a Diary called "Dear Lyra" and given to my future baby girl so she can know how her mama lived at 27 years old :P

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

What a Diploma Means...

3 weeks into a lecturer's life I found out about the corruption that's happening in the Education system. No, not by money... But by Compassion. While other students are struggling to get a diploma or degree in their universities, here it comes easy. I'm not criticizing the humanity and kind-hearts of the lecturers here but this condition just made me stare at my diploma i had earned in a similar institution, and how this devalues it.

All my 6 years of higher education I had worked my ass of to get to where I am. During my diploma, it took me a lot of sucking up to lecturer's and losing friends just to maintain my 3.9 cpa. Nothing came easy. I did everything i had to do, from completing all given assignments to studying hard for exams and focusing in each and every class. I did it the right way. No copying, no hitch-hiking. And i got what i wished for... A scholarship to continue my studies to a B.eng level.

And my hardwork didn't stop there. While most of my friends took the easy way to pass their courses (i.e cheating, copying assignments, sleeping with people to get it done etc) i took the federal road. Meeting my lecturers every 5 minutes and making sure ALL my assignments fulfil the requirements and studied HARD for exams. All hardwork and backstabs later, i managed to get myself an upper second-class degree, and a Vice Chancellor award though I did aim for First Class. But I was satisfied that I did my best.

But today I see life from a lecturer's point of view. Students take advantage of lecturers. They don't take education too seriously. And my colleagues are too kind to fail them, doing their best to make sure the students pass all papers. Diploma comes easy for them, they don't have to earn it. All they had to do was pay the RM200 semester fees and a diploma is practically handed to them. No need for hardwork, no need to pay attention in class and Final Exams are like theme park rides for them.

Of course I'm not saying that all educators are givers. Some are highly strict and don't seem to bow to students' pleas. But the education level in where I'm working is too low. I admit High School Education was more difficult. It makes me think, is my diploma even worth anything? If everyone is getting it easy, what would my hardly-earned diploma mean?

Students get loans, buy super-expensive cellphones and hardly buys themselves any stationaries or books. Or they spent renting hotels and humping around... Some even use the loans for drinks and cigarettes and drugs... They hand in assignments using DRAFT papers and lecturers feel sorry for them for coming from a poor or problematic family. In classes they fall asleep, in exams they copy each other... And at the end of 3 years, a diploma is handed for all these "efforts"

I stick to my principle! A DIPLOMA SHOULD BE EARNED NOT DONATED!!! So Dear students of mine, hand in my assignments quizzes in a PROFESSIONAL condition. Clean, completed and organized. Answer my quizzes and tests truthfully and don't even TRY to copy in exams. I didn't sleep through my education, so why should I let you :)

What a diploma means?

Hard work!

What a degree means?

Determination!

Most Embarassing Moments xD

What an awful day today is! Only 3pm and approximately 2 hours till home time where i can finally take this piece of rag of my legs! New dress, looks all vogue and classy... turning heads around but as i sat down... krrrrrr.... It ripped where it shouldnt the most, revealing half my thighs! Oh My God!

It's a warning of how fat I am, i guess. Time for a super diet routine. Lose the fatass that's causing all my dresses to surrender but in this 2 hours of worktime left, i need a plan.. one that can save some humiliation. i need some instant remedy that can camouflage the rip. I need to save some dignity!

Feeling all paranoid and awkward just reminds me about all the humiliating moments of my life. And I'm pretty sure everyone had at least been through ONE certain humiliation. An experience they wish they never had. That moment in life where you just want to dig up a 6 feet hole, dive in and never resurface. But life goes on. We just have to learn how to live through it.

It's all about how you deal with it xD

How the common "flirt" is misunderstood

As a sequel to my "Jealousy" blog, today I would like to share some thoughts on the common "flirt" that are kinda famous among people whether they are single or married. Anne speaks :

Everyday in our life ever since we hit puberty, flirting has become a hobby in our daily events. We flicker our eyes, smile shyly, and sometimes uses pick-up lines we googled in the internet just for the fun of it. Sometimes these harmless acts lead to something serious and people hooked up. Sometimes people took it too seriously and broke their own heart when they found out it meant nothing. So how do we tell if the flirt is harmless, or if it really means something?

I was seated next to a cool guy, kinda good looking on the plane to Sabah. At first he was kinda stuck-up-ish and i didn't want further awkwardness by starting a weird conversation. But after an hour of being cramped in a seat he started talking to me and asking questions about my life. One topic led to another and suddenly he was asking me out for a drink. Then he started saying i reminded him of a hot actress on TV. And this was AFTER he told me he was married with 3 children. And that's where my friendliness hit the brakes. Whoa... mister...! do i look like a home-breaker?~

But then I sat down thinking, it must have been some meaningless flirt to see if he still has it. He probably didn't really asked me out but trying to see if i would say yes. People do it all the time. Even i do it. I don't mean anything, since I am in a relationship already (it's complicated, open but still a relationship) but it's fun to see people's reactions when you flirt. Some make jokes about it and we just end up laughing and having a good time. But some took it too far and went to the next level (meaning sex invitations).

If I was to stop all the flirting, life would be so boring. Yeah it would make my boyfriend less jealous and happy to have ALL my attention finally. It would stop people from labeling me. And it would make me a stuck up biyach. I had gone through a 5 year stagnant relationship and the boringness made me wanna scream so bad i almost went nuts. This is the person I am. And as long as I don't go naked for you or tell you i love you with glimmering eyes and promising future, all my flirts are HARMLESS and means nothing. *Online wise, as long as it's in a general conversation area where many people can read it's NOT serious as i do not take local chats seriously* And as long as i don't have a ring around my finger I think i would like to have some freedom to have a little fun.

As long as you stay away from getting too deep, i think a little flirt is ok. Once you see things are getting a weee bit too far it's time to hit the brakes and change to reverse gear. Unless you really want something to happen between you and him/her it's best to keep your flirts clean and PG13. And geez if you're married, try NOT flirting, seriously. I just hate it when married people even think they can woo me. It's immoral, stupid and ridiculous. i do not flirt with married dudes. -be told-

Malaysia Oh Malaysia! (Part 4 - Warisan Merdeka)

So the PM decided to build the tallest tower in the world (again), naming it Warisan Merdeka, 100 storey and costing RM5 billion (USD1,56 billion)... Anne speaks :-

I was browsing through the news again (something i dont usually do, but i was bored as hell at work) and found out about this megatower the government had decided to build. Being a true supporter of the Malaysian government, i somehow find this idea irrelevant to what the country needs and sort of in bad-timing.

Taken from mmail.com.my,

BERNAMA

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010 20:39:00

KUALA LUMPUR: Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak today defended the proposal to build a 100-storey tower, costing RM5 billion, saying it was not a waste but an opportunity to generate the economy and create an icon for a developed and modern Malaysia.

The prime minister said the construction of the tower would benefit many sectors. "There are many contract works which we can give out to spur economic activities. The area can also become a centre of attraction and a business centre.

"This is not a waste but something that will bring benefit," he said, adding that the project was proposed by Permodalan Nasional Bhd.

I had replied to this news :-

I'm usually a FULL supporter for the past BN mega projects namely KLCC, KLIA, Sepang Circuit etc... These are the elements of Malaysia that puts us among big Countries in the world. However, I think this country is NOT YET READY for Warisan Merdeka project as there are still many citizens who are homeless and jobless and not forgetting the environmental condition in Malaysia which is not in excellent condition (ie forest and wildlife preservation). I say the RM5b should be used to solve the existing problems, fix the structures we have, and developing environmental organisations rather than risking it on a project that has no guarantee will be successful. Im not saying don't do it at all, I'm just saying DON'T DO IT YET. Not until we are stable economically and environmentally at least. (sorry for imperfect english)

Submitted by Anne on Thursday, October 28th, 2010

Malaysia Oh Malaysia! (Part 3 - Entertainment hub)

First of all I dont get it. Most of the people who are bravely speaking out in blogs condemning each and every government decisions are government employees. If you don't like what the government is doing, quit and give the position to people who actually knows how to appreciate the hand that feeds them. Or option #2, move to Saudi Arabia, see how you like it there. Im sure the government is 100% islamic based and everything is "Haram" just how you like it.

Reading an article from Malaysiakini.com, i found out that the PM is creating an area for locating Nightclubs in Malaysia. What remains blurry is if this means moving all the existing nightclubs or entertainment centres there or adding more nightclubs in the country, just contained in a specific area without moving the existing ones. The latter would definitely raise anger and rage among Islamic leaders.

Whatever the reason is, I just strongly believe that the government has it's own reasons and excuse to conduct such movement. The positive effect is people will be able to control visitors of the clubs, thus making it easier to spot an under aged citizen or a Muslim strolling around in the inappropriate radius. And it will also make a good chill-out place for tourists, hence contributing to economical growth in Malaysia, in which we desperately need. Whether or not it downgrades the mental and social behaviour of our people is strictly an individual inner-conflict. It is up to parents, teachers and educators and not forgetting their individual selves to differenciate what's wrong and what's right. And people should know that no matter what, the clubs already exist anyway. What the government is trying to do is keep it contained and controlled. So just stop being so negative all the time.

Reading all the comments mocking the PM and condemning the government, i realized how SHALLOW the minds of the people are. Why not give it a chance? This is a country with THREE (3) MAJOR races and about a hundred minors including tourists and migrants. Why not be Global and positive and just support what the government is trying to do?

-anne-

Haloween Special : My Ghost Encounter

This is a true story that happened about 6 years ago. I was in a dorm with my sister watching The Ring on dad's laptop. (ye back then laptops were cool and only rich people have em). Anyways it was about 12 am midnight and most of the dorm residents had gone to bed, or studying in their rooms and it was soooo quiet. Well, except for the movie we were watching.

Suddenly there was a black out. And ironically, it was during the scene when Samara (the name of the girl ghost) was climbing out of the well... And when the black out happened, all the lights went of. Street lights, corridor lights, room lights. EXCEPT FOR THE LAPTOP. In that total darkness all me and my sister saw was Samara crawling out of the well, out of the TV (in the movie) and in my imagination, OUT OF THE LAPTOP SCREEN. That was when both me and my sister screamed our lungs out and the whole floor came ambushing our door to see wth was going on. Just 2 secs after the screaming event, we both bursted out laughing knowing we got punked by a stupid movie.

Yes, that was the scariest moment in my life involving ghosts. (fake ghost yea, but still). It triggered some post events that had made me who I am now. A true Scaredy cat. One night, a few days after my beloved cat Putam died, I had a dream about it crawling onto my bed and sleeping on my belly. (It used to do that a lot) Suddenly, I felt heavy. I felt something pressed against my body really hard till i couldnt breathe. I opened my eyes to see a black figure with no face, just shadows right above me sitting and making me breathless... I couldnt scream i just felt numb and paralyzed. But I still managed to gather some strength and wrestled with it. I think I woke up and realized it was a dream but it was confusing as i had dreamed my room condition exactly the way it was when i woke up... spookey indead... I did some research online and talked to my friends and found out many people had gone through this, and remained unexplained.

Only after that i had become really afraid of the dark but occasionally treat myself to some horror movies. But to be alone in darkness with some eerie sounds every now and then? a big NO THANK YOU. I am scared of ghosts. Period.

Anne's Top 10 Scariest Movie of all time ^^

1. Coming Soon (Thai)

2. The Grudge (US Version)

3. Shutter (Thai)

4. Wishing Stairs (Korea)

5. Jangan Pandang Belakang (Don't look Back, Malaysia)

6. The Ring (US Version)

7. One Missed Call (Japanese Version)

8. 1408 (US)

9. Poltergeist III

10. Exorcist series

Can't remember but i'm sure there's more :p

Jealousy... requirement? or trash?

Is jealousy necessary in a relationship? Or is it just a spreading virus that only causes the love and trust to disappear and flushed down the toilet. Anne speaks, :-

Jealousy is a feeling of discomfort in the heart when you see something that u want or desire lingers around something that is not you. It's a need unfulfilled. It's a disease if not controlled can ruin your life and everything that you cherish.

In a relationship, what if there's no jealousy at all? What if there's too much space and freedom for both parties to stray without either one having any feeling of frustration or disappointment?Doesn't this mean that the relationship is unhealthy and practically worthless as both of you don't care if there's a possibility one of you can find another?

Personally I think it's necessary to have some slight jealousy to make a relationship work. It's a nice rush when your partner worries about you being stolen by someone else. Makes you feel appreciated and wanted and loved. And shows how much he/she doesn't like sharing you with another thus trying harder to make sure your attention belongs to only him/her. If they always use the phrase "I trust you" even when you do your best to make em jealous usually it means "I don't care you can be with whoever you want. I dont love you that much anyway..." Then it's time to move on and be with someone who does care and wants you to be just theirs.

*NOTE FOR GIRLS*

It starts to really suck when in a relationship only one person feels the pain of jealousy while the other couldn't care any less. My opinion, if he is not scared of the possibility of losing you to another it either means :-

1. He doesn't love you that much and doesn't care about losing you

2. He has a plan B. (Meaning he has another girl on the side, you moron!)

3. You're ugly

4. He's hot (or he thinks he is) that he knows you'll be crawling back to him soon anyway.

The trick is to treat him EXACTLY how he treats you. If he's not jealous why do you even bother? Move on! Start to NOT care! (and if he is the superjealous kind, be that way too. Let him know how being tied up feels like!)

Back to jealousy...

However, it's the kind of thing that can kill when it's too much. Obsession is never a healthy thing for anyone. Too much jealousy is like putting chains around your feet. When jealousy becomes thicker, trust becomes thinner, to the point where it messes up your emotions and leads to constant fights and destroys the whole relationship. Sooner or later the chains becomes barb wires that causes more pain while still imprisoning you.

Love with no trust is no love in the first place. But Love with too much trust is just careless.

Time For A Change...

You know God is on your side when you start feeling sorry for your enemy for all the good things you're getting and the nothingness she has. You finally stop hating her and ready to move on with your life. With one last sarcasm "goodbye dear ex best friend, i am finally getting somewhere in life and you'll be here, rotting in this hell hole you call a workplace...", I held my head high, turned around, smiled, satisfied and walked away. It was that very moment i realized how sorry I felt for her and how i never want to be in her position.

Years after years I havent been an angel to deserve all the good things in life. I have sinned, i have had bad intentions. Lust for guys' attention. Envy for the people more successful than me. Greed for money and expensive gifts. Gluttony for classy cuisines and beverages. Pride big enough to sink in Mount everest and hurting people i love with it. Sloth for housework and helping people. Wrath in almost every little thing that happened. And yet, here I am, my wishes coming true even though i know I'm too far away from deserving it.

So I guess He listens. No matter what type of person you are, there's always a chance in you getting your wishes come true if it comes with good intentions. It's an ease of the soul when you let go of that hatred you feel for someone and start to feel sympathy for her luck. It's a piece of mind when you forgive her for backstabbing you. It's time for a change when you can finally breathe in clean air and move on with your life towards a better future :)

Credits to an ex best friend who decided to be an enemy

I'll be the Judge of that...

Humans were created with a gift that differentiates them with animals. COMMON SENSE. The ability to tell what's wrong and what's right. The intelligence to make decisions in any circumstances and the knowledge to learn from them. The free will to conduct any actions and to raise any thought. And this leads humans to JUDGE.

Judging is a divine power. It is for the Mighty to decide or to put label on His creations. Humans were born equal. What differs us from each other is our own perspective and the effort we put into improving our lives.

I dont mean the court judge. Those judgements are based on theories and evidence (unless there's bribery of course). My high respect for the people with these authority as they carry a big weight of responsibilities. This blog is about judging people in a society. Based on personal issues and emotions. The one people aren't being paid for.

Ever since i was 16, surviving in a new society was never easy. Having a universally open mind and wild personality, i tend to be an outcast in every group of people i was involved with. It was only at that age, i was occasionally shunt from the society and had to adapt to living in my own world. My schoolmates didnt know who i was, or how i was. They had no idea how i grew up or how my behaviour was in the previous 15 years of my life. The hardship of life began here. When i was judged by this new society. When I was labeled.

Why do people judge others to the extent of making their lives miserable? I read in the papers this previous Eid of how young girls got shunt from their family and the society because they got pregnant without marriage. No companies would employ them, no friends would help them. These girls survive by becoming prostitutes and begging random people for food and shelter. And people just twitch their nose, utter an "ewww...." and look down at them, disgusted with not even the least bit of sympathy.

Noone volunteers to have flaws. No drug addict in the world prayed to be one. No prostitutes had written their present 'career' in their childhood wish list. Noone hopes to make mistakes. We all dream of perfection. Some of us got lucky. Some of us failed.

And most of us who got lucky, failed in the aspects of humanity. We judge them. We labeled them as trash. We call them hopeless. We turn our heads away and laugh at their pain. We assumed that was their choice of life and we just punish them by our mocks and sarcasm. We did what only God have the right to do. We judged.

Try spend a day ans sit in the comfortable sofa of a Starbucks restaurant and look around you. Look at how you label people. A girl in big, drapy clothes, her hair covered in a burkha walking with her boyfriend holding hands, and when no one notices, holding more than just hands. Another girl in casual clothes and jeans, hanging out with her friends, her hair tied in a ponytail laughing and having fun. They look at each other. Nodded. And looked away, realizing they were two very different people. One seen as the "perfect" girl and the other as the "slut". And sadly, in the society we live in, the girl in the burkha wins for her choice of fashion.

Up until today i am still being judged. Because I dont wear the normal clothes that hide my flaws and my sins, people make me who they think i am. Married men pursue me thinking i would settle for anything with a penis. Single men think i am an object to have and let go whenever they please. Married girls think I'm chasing after their husbands. Single girls hate and despise me for all the attention i get. And They just wouldn't stop judging until i blend in.

But Guess What?

I LOVE BEING DIFFERENT.

Credits to Rayan Basha for this inspiration.

Malaysia oh Malaysia (Part 2 - The Murder Solved)

While people were busy celebrating Eid, being with families and eating awesome Eid dishes, some people were mourning over the lost of a cosmetic millionaire who was brutally torchered, stabbed, minced and burned and ashes were scattered in a river. Her story became a high profile case with all the Policemen in the country racing against time to solve the murder and putting aside their Eid vacation. Congratulations to the efficiency (or luck) of the investigators, her case was solved in 2 weeks after her disappearance and some lawyer dude (also a rich ass) was caught having not only to lead the murder, but has been on a killing spree which were unresolved some years ago. As an old Malay proverb says, "Smart maybe the squirrel in its leaps, but in the end it just falls hard to the ground..."

My deepest condolence go the late Dato Sosilawati's family for having to endure such big loss and heartbreaking tragedy during Aidilfitri.

But doesn't that make us wonder why, with all the super technology and smart braincells and efficiency, there are still simpler cases unresolved? For example the murder of Nurin Jazlin, (8 years old, 2009, raped, molested, sodomized, murdered and folded into a suitcase) , the disappearence of Sharlene, and even a few more hundred disappearance/murder cases involving middle-class Malaysians. Is it because the families of these people can't afford a news conference? Is it because these families can't promise the investigators bags of rewards? Or is it because these families are not famous and high profile enough to motivate the CSIs to help them get some justice.

Having solved the case of the cosmetic millionaire, it shows that our policemen are not dumb and have the potential to become super-detectives. With some motivation and technology, they have the ability to crack a case and put the person responsible for it in hand-cuffs. So I don't see why they still haven't solved the other murder cases where the body found was more intact than ashes scattered in a river. And why these cases, unsolved, are forgotten like movies that hit box office in the cinema, enjoyed it's moment, and faded away in time... forgotten, until television decides to put them on.

I'm not here to ask for an explanation on WHY or HOW the forensics or CSI (whatever u call it) choose which cases are priority. I just hope for them to make a move and help not only the rich, but every single people in this country to seek justice so we can live in a country that's fair without discrimination. I'm sure the pain of losing a family member is equally tragic for everyone no matter how much money you have in the bank.

:)

Malaysia Oh Malaysia... (Part 1 - The controversy)

Eid 2010... A celebration for the Victory of Muslims for completing a month of religious activities and fasting. A controversial event this year as Malaysians debate on whether the "1 Malaysia" slogan, founded by the PM is appropriate for the mentality of Malaysians or not. This Aidilfitri, shows that we're just not ready...

THE CONTROVERSIAL COMMERCIAL

Ramadhan opened with a controversial TV3 commercial of Eid Celebration. The 1st time it aired, Malays from all around the country jumped up in horror at the appearance of a Malay Santa Claus carrying children on a Trishaw (ye lol NO reindeers) to a field that looks like Eden with a lot of technology.



(if vid fails to play, visit this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO1e6KXO88U)

I don't see how the Malays saw this commercial as a negative impact. I dont praise it either. I just think it's lack of ideas with too much technology. The Santa Claus part? i think it's more like an ET scene where the kid put him on his bike basket and flew around. I dont see how this could be considered controversial. But after complaints and people making too much of a big deal out of it, TV3 decided to cancel the commercial and made a public apology. Kudos TV3!~ (Epic fail for a 1 Malaysia commercial attempt)

Not meaning to take sides here, i personally think that what TV3 tried to potray was a magical celebration of Eid adopting some traditions from othe celebrations such as christmas, Deepavali etc without meaning any harm. Nothing religious about it, just makin Eid general for all the races to celebrate together to support the 1 Malaysia slogan. But I'm guessng Eid is still a sacred day for Muslims and it's not appropriate to be commercialized. Whatever it is, people can believe whatever they want and respect each other's opinions :)

p/s I still think it's an adoption from ET xD

~~!!HAPPY EID TO ALL!!~~

Jumah, 1st Syawal 1431 , Friday, 10th September 2010

EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL???

Random question time...

Which is worse? Your partner cheating on you emotionally? Or just physically?

Maybe a no-brainer for everyone. I'm sure most will just dive in and answer "Of course Physically not Emotionally coz it's barely visible"
Think about it. Personally i think that it would just hurt more if your partner cheats on you emotionally. Physical attraction is normally temporary and l doesn't last too long. But emotional attraction usually is permanent and leaves a deep scar that can't be healed. Why? Because it's not visible.

LOVE begins from the heart. When you're in love, it triggers all the weird hormones and emotions and affecting your physical being. It's the main reason why you're with your partner in the first place. Sex is random. You can live with or without it. That's why God created hands. When a person starts to develop devotion towards another, it affects their thinking and creates an obsession of longing for something they can't have. And this makes you the enemy. The only thing that is stopping them from pursuing the person they fell for. They began to despise you. Feelings are not a switch you can turn off and on anytime you want, and the more it is held back, the more it developes.

Until one day it bursts. Once your partner falls for another, they stop loving you. They would have this craving to engage in a physical event with the other and affect your whole relationship. It is OVER. Once he/she starts to fall for another person, consider your relationship over. Let's compare with physical adultry. It's almost the same thing. A crave for something different. A need for some variety in life. This is less harmful as it sounds, unforgivable, but trust me it ends. When your partner strays, there will be a point in this event where it will stop and he will come back to you feeling so guilty and disgusted with him/herself that he will do anything he can to fix the relationship.

So yeah, I truly believe that cheating emotionally is by far more harmful than physical. What hurts the body dont really hurt the heart. But what hurts the heart, is a life-long pain that can't be healed no matter how hard you try.

DON'T CHEAT! xD

A Letter for The Heart...

Heart, I know I’ve been hard on you, I’m sorry for the things I’ve put you through...
Before you start to break on me or ask for sympathy, I need to make you see

Heart, I’m not sure it’s been long enough, To say that what I feel is really love
There’s just one way to learn, sometimes we’ll get hurt and right now it’s our turn

Give it time, help me through... Heart, we can do this together, you’re my strength, you’re my soul, I need you now more than ever

Heart, all the hurt will soon be gone, If you’ll just keep on being strong
You will always be my friend, so keep on hangin there... And we’ll find love again

Heart, I know I’ve been hard on you, I’m sorry for the things I put you through
Please don’t you break on me, I need to make you see
It wasn’t meant to be

‘Cause you will always be my friend, so keep on hangin' in
And we’ll find love again...

Salute to Malaysian Truck Drivers!~

Yes obviously I am writing this in rage. So be warned this post may not turn out PG13.

Have you ever had that one moment near death where every bit of your past just come flashing into your mind like a crazy slideshow? When suddenly in that one second you think about your family, friends, and loved ones and regret that you havent told them you love them that day? And in that moment everything else just stood still and you wish for a tiny chance in life just to become a better person?

SCREW THAT.

Today I almost lost my chance to see tomorrow's sunrise. Why? Because a drunk truck driver almost took my life away. And all i could think of as I almost surrendered my life to an upcoming MPV was that I WILL FKING HAUNT THE RETARDED TRUCK DRIVER TILL HE PISS BLOOD IN HIS PANTS!

What happened?

As I was singing to Nightwish's Ever Dream while driving, i came up to a line of cars that could barely be called cars. (more like moving zombie engine with wheels They were driving like 20km/h annoying my guts out. So when I had the chance I overtook em speeding up to 120km/h on a typical Malaysian rural road. As i was going to return to the lane, suddenly a truck from the roadside probably just finished ma********ng entered the main road causing me to get stuck on the opposite lane with my crazy speed. There was zero chance of getting back into lane and an MPV was coming into my direction.

There goes 9999 Decibel of pure Honking as I tried to drive back into lane to save my life and the truck just ignored it (he was probably deaf) leaving me the choice of having to swerve to the opposite road side. Took me 30 secs to get my heartbeat at normal rate before i yelled a loud ass "F**K" and continued driving to work. Swearing if had died I wont ever STOP haunting him to death!

But...

Maybe it was a chance for me to reincarnate into someone better having seen a glimpse of death in a milisecond... Whatever the reason is for the experience, I still thank God I'm alive.

On death...

My tired soul, my restless eyes... will never see another sunrise... A love for a life, one that i've taken away... Will God forgive me for what i've done today?

As I lay and put my body to rest, will i ever see another day? If this is God's final test... Will they remember me, or will I fade away...

My body weakens from the blood that sheds... A life I lived with too many regrets... I take one last deep breath of earth's air... And say my goodbye to this murderous despair...

As I lay and put my mind to rest, will I ever live another day? If this is God's hardest test... Will they think of me, because I can't stay...

So now I close my once brown eyes... I will never see tomorrow's sunrise... A love that took my life away... Will God forgive me for dying today?

Love,
Anne (28 July 2010)

I Remember...

I am writing this blog in a very sweaty and smelly condition as i have just finished jumping around to Lady Gaga tunes and was suddenly inspired!~ A question was asked that moved my wirter's block to the side.

"Anne, Do girls forget about the happiest moments of a relationship?"

All of a sudden ALL the memories from my childhood boyfriends to the most recent relationship came flooding in my head like those lame 1kb spam e-mails you get non-stop. All the laughs... the jokes.. even the words in those cute love-letters came back to my cerebrum in a milisecond. Yes, I do remember them. In fact, there they are playing in my head so vividly like distant memories that were waiting to be downloaded again after all these years of being left dormant.

I dont know about other girls but yes, I do remember the happiest moment of every single relationship I had. Even the ones that turned to be disaster. I remember being happy and so complete when my very first boyfriend squeezed me out of breath after a crazy rollercoaster ride (boy i was so worried it was captured on camera!) And one dear lover of mine drove his motorbike to my house in the middle of the night, sneaking past my sleeping parents just to gaze on the stars and discuss our plans to be astronauts so we can go star-pickig someday. I remember one morning i went to school and found a bunch of brown orchids on my desk sent in by a secret admirer along with a love letter saying what a beautiful person I am and he loves me from a far, and so i went around the whole town on foot to look for a house with brown orchids. (i never found out who he was, sadly...) And one day a musical box was sent to me on my birthday with the song "where do i begin" signed by an anonymous admirer. I was 15 when I was at the peak of my love life. Everything was so fresh and full of hopes. And heartbreaks were easy to mend...

I even remember having a deadly crush on someone wishing so bad I was the girl he always walked home with, crying into my pillow everyday hoping someday he'll notice me. Then one day I went to school for a study group session and there he was, sitting on a small bridge of a pond and he actually looked my way. Wow how my heart was beating like a train when his pefect lips shaped into a smile. I never really got to tell him i loved him but that smile, that one moment where he noticed me has never left my mind...

Even though none of the relationships lasted, I never could forget how the tiniest details has made me happy. How can I, when it was those memories that has made me become the person I am. Yes, it's sad when heart is broken and the memories become nothing but reminders of how painful the experience was. But without em, how do tell the story of your life to your children?

As painful as it is now, i can never forget the excitement of waiting anxiously at the airport gates, the drastic heartbeat and bloodrush of meeting him for the very first time. Of how everything felt so complete when his eyes were looking directly into mine instead of through webcams. No, noone forgets that memory, the heart doesnt let me. Even though remembering it causes my heart to shatter, it is and will always be there...

Each and everyone that has made my life worth living even for one second, I would and could never forget. The broken pieces of my heart collected by a certain stranger, struggling to fix them, showering my days with hopes and love only to left his own heart broken. I could never forget. Every tiny piece of memory fits into my life like a jigsaw puzzle and without a single one, it wont be complete.

So to the guy who asked me the question,

Yes. We do remember every happy moments in a relationship. They are what made us. They are what completes us. And they are what makes us smile when nothing else can...

Thanks Tariq Suliman for this blog inspiration!

Jokes... oh sex jokes...

Okay almost a month since i started workin as a lame ass engineer in a lame ass country and my social life raised from 1 to 9. At work 90% of the people I deal with are married men. And Goodness Gracious the jokes they all talk about at work... My mind became the gutter in an instant as they discuss about sexual activities and making jokes about it...

Well I am an open-minded person i dont really mind laughing along at these jokes. In fact I admit I sometimes add in some spice for the giggles to break into thunderous laughter but one thought came up to my mind. Is it really appropriate for 30+ married men to crack jokes about sex to single girls at the age between 20-26? I don't know maybe i'm thinking too much about this, but yeah... The jokes can get a little bit too much to the point where I'm sometimes lost for responses. (and sometimes, too embarassed to respond) And at these points, I began to wonder if these things should even be brought up into the office scenario.

Honestly without these joke cracking session, work will not be as fun as it obviously isn't. But what exactly do men have in mind when they mention these things? Yeah, they say it's harmful. They say it's just words, nothing personal or physical. But I know these are the same people who committed adultry (sp?), and some were even cheating on their wives with girls who work in the office. So they might say the jokes are "innocent" but it still has the probability of turning into something serious and heavy.

I guess sometimes they have to know when to stop. When the jokes start to get a little bit off limits like going way into details and i feel uncomfortable sucking on a lolipop with eyes staring and mouth drooling, someone has to step on the brakes. Yeah, I agree we all need a few breaks now and then. I'm just saying there should be a certain range of sexual jokes and gestures that are allowed to be spoken off. The rest, they should just keep between them and their spouses.

THINK POSITIVE!~

Working in a lame ass company with bitches and assholes (*ahem... excuse my french) ready to pound on you at your first mistake just really drains out your energy and wear you out and injures your brains. So, the one thing to do to survive and stay alive (and stay sane) is to THINK POSITIVE. I found these tips on how to stay positive on some anonymous website and yeh so far it's been a BIG HELP for me :)

1. Admit that there are problems
I found out being ignorant sometimes doesnt help at all. Admitting there are problems around let's you adjust your well-being to the environment.

2. Make Goals
My goal is to get my monthly income. So love me hate me.

3. Avoid negative influences
Yeh you dont need more uneccessary stress in life

4. Find an optimistic quote
"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." I dont care if people hate me for cracking jokes at the wrong place or time. There is NEVER a wrong moment to share some tiny chuckles. (or in my case, usually HUGE)

5. Focus your imagination and efforts on becoming that new positive person
Why not? being negative obviously wont take you anywhere. When i was super-sensitive i almost got myself lost. Now im all positive and couldnt care less to all the negative aura in the world :P

6. Create your live from within
We are what our hearts intend us to be. Clean the heart. Clean the mind. And paint it with all the colours you want.

7. Love your life
God gave us only ONE life. Live it. Cherish it :)

8. Smile at Strangers
What's so hard to move some muscles and just smile at people? it doesnt hurt and it certainly make yourself prettier :)

9. Listen to positive music
Hmm... GET NAKED by Britney helps me a lot. If you feel down and no one is around... GET NAKED and work it...I'm Crazy as a motherfker bet that on your man!~

10. Volunteer or help others
In this case, I chose to adopt and take care of cats :)

11. USE THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
When you LOOK GOOD you FEEL GOOD. Dress to kill. Dress to inspire. Dress to RULE!~

Good luck!~

p/s works for broken hearts too... Remember that there's always more fish in the sea. And hell yeh a thousand billions of species of em!!!

DREAMS...

Dream within a dream

need not ask this, i'm sure EVERYONE has experienced weird dreams or nightmares at one point. It was last night, when i had a dream about a stranger i haven't met that inspired me to write about this. Malays believe that some dreams are sign of what's to happen in a person's life. For example, if you dream about a snake, specifically a python, means someone is about to propose to you. Another example is if you dream about flood, for anything consisting water, you will get a lot of money soon. And also, if you dream about your tooth falling off, means a person close to you is going to die. Sometimes, some dreams are pre-events in reality that when they do happen you will feel like you've been here, done this. This is famously called "deja vu"

I'm not really a traditional believer. I think dreams are dreams. Probably scientifically explained that dreams are thoughts you put in the bottom of your mind and didnt think about it until you're rested. Like a computer scan that does it's work when you're unconsious.

I had a dream about a mall once. One i have never been to. And this shopping mall kept appearing in dreams about 5-6 times until it started to get freaky. Until now, i never really resolved this weird dream. But in my sleep, it's a mall i always go to. And not to mention i ALWAYS dream about meeting old friends and boyfriends i lost contact with, to find them married with children and sympathy on their faces on my luck in that department. Scary dreams are the worst kinds. I am a true scaredy cat. I HATE ghosts. But in dreams when i encounter them, i became this superhero who slays them with super religious prayers i dont really know in real life. And just yesterday i dreamed of escaping some evil villains with a friend (a dude very close to me) and getting on a boat with a mysterious sailor. Supposedly in the dream he was hot and very good looking and rescued my ass. But the sad part i was departed from this friend, didnt say goodbye... and i fell in love with the sailor (who could have easily been Popeye x.x) Upon arrival at some weird country, i told this sailor i love him but he just went away... Drama much? I think so...

So what do these dreams interprete? Meeting someone i never met before and i couldn't even remember the face. But i'm thinking he could have just looked like Tarkan or Kaka in captain's uniform (drooool~). And who was the dear friend who got left behind? What thought could possibly cause me to dream about this? And the fact that they all seem so vivid in dreams and just "poof!" disappear the moment i woke up. Maybe i watch too much tv... haha.. i don't know...

Tarkan :) hotness

Old people told me once to avoid getting nightmares at night, ALWAYS wash your legs. I dont know why though, supposedly washing legs keeps the monsters away coz they're clean? make sense, no? And recite some prayers meaning (I live and die by the name of God). The scariest dream i had was being pressed by something heavy and big causing me to choke and couldnt breathe. But this is common (or so i heared) and has many, many religious, and scientific explanation i wont bore you with right now.

Do dreams really tell you something? Or are they just drama in your sleep? If not carefully understood, it can be part of your own reality and drive you into insanity. Make a dream journal and you'll see how some recurring dream events can be really peculiar.

Credits for Mariusz Janik for this blog insipiration :) Thanks ^^

WHY DO PEOPLE BRAG?

Christina Aguilera : You must talk so big, to make up for smaller things!~

After spending 6 months hiding from the real world and living life online, I finally opened the doors to the world of REALITY and to my surprise, NOTHING’s changed. Everyone I met has a story to tell, and they’re ALL about self-promoting, letting me into DETAILS on how great a person he/she is. At one point, it gets lame and predictable.

So why do people do it? From bragging they can bring income to the company, to telling me how they can control the Bossman (lol if they knew I can do that easy), to announcing their intelligence and “awesome working talents”, to rubbing it in my face they are all about act, not talk… and not forgetting “I can do more than this, I just don’t want to”

Sexism aside, ALL guys do this. They even brag about being addicted to alcohol beverages, can smoke 12 ciggarettes under 2 minutes and how “I can marry a girl anytime I want and leave her if im bored”. I mean seriously, why brag about being a jerk? Why to me? Do I look like a person who would praise guys for being self-acclaimed assholes? And what’s the point of showing of money in your pocket when you obviously smell like methane that can burn down KLCC if ignited.

And not forgetting the girls with 5 inches of make up on their faces and dresses in super-tight tops that practically squeezes the boobs and stomach (layers) into extreme-revelation, bragging how they all know about “the latest trend” and how they are aware of Prada’s latest design and Armani’s latest perfume and somehow still appear in cheap musks and clothes from the rejects of Carolina Herera’s fashion show 20 years ago. And realizing that, changed suddenly to “oh I don’t really care about designers I buy whatever I think is nice” So what was the point of telling me you cared about them in the first place??? Besides that, girls also have this annoying habit of telling you how they have 5 men going after them, and they don’t know which to choose (supposedly they’re hot and wanted). And somehow end up single like me… zzzz…

So why are all these strangers bragging to me? Are they trying to impress me? Or annoy me? I’m so curious on why people have to TELL me what they have (or dont have) instead of leaving it a mystery which would be more exciting. There are some things I rather see myself and evaluate then being forced to. Sigh… people… I guess Christina is right.

People do talk big, just to make up for the smaller things. *wink*

I'm a single mom! Pay me!

I am not speaking or accusing the whole community of single moms of being a pain in the ass. In fact, these are the people i truly respect for their courage, strength and dedication to raise their children without a man's help. In Malaysia, Single mothers are 90% Divorced or Widowed. Not the "touch and go kind" One peculiar woman, in her early 50s, i met 2 days ago, just annoyed the hell out of me. Highly defensive and rude, she threatened to beat the hell out of me. One word for her. BITCH!

I wont write the details of what happened here coz it might take like 5 hours and bore you all to death. To make long story short, my friend (who got herself involved in a minor accident with this woman's son) went to pay the how you call it... compensation money, about RM300. (100 USD)

By the way she greeted us, i knew it was gonna be a hell of an adventure. I was right. She sat on her lazy chair, her "injured" son on a sofa and started her bitching.

The way she looked down on me was apalling. "My son is a degree holder who's gonna do his masters in a few days. My daughter is also currently doing her degree. All my children are successful people with a strong religious faith." She continued, "My son never stop praising God during his whole drive on the road so how on earth is this his fault?" And then she looked at us up down unaware that im an upper class degree holder too.

Then her defensive act revealed. "I am a single mother but don't think i am scum in the society. I raised my son all by myself and I protect them from people like you. (people like me wtf??)And if i didnt have more patience i would already beat u two to death. I want more compensate money to buy him all the stuff again! Don't u dare think we single mothers can be bullied."

I was like "WHAT THE F@ck???" I realized this bitch is useless to argue with. later, her words just faded into "bitch... nag... bitch nag..."

1. So what if your stupid gay son (yeh a few hours later i found out her son is gay) has a degree in councelling? I have one too i didnt use it as a defensive act! Nothing special.
2. Being or acting religious wont win a court 's case. Dumbass.
3. So what if u praise God during your whole journey on the road? If that ever works, i would already have a good husband and career as i have been praying to god all my life.~
4. So what if you're a single mother and have to raise children on your own? Sorry but my compassion is limited and i'm already spending my sympathy on starving people in Africa or Animals being abused. Single mothers? You're just as Normal as everyone else.
5. Beat me to death? Zzzzzz... Because her son fell off a motorbike and ripped his pants? LOL!

Why is it such a big deal being a single mother that it becomes an excuse and defensive statement? I didnt even say anything about single mom being at the bottom of the food chain of my society and yet she was eager to rub it in my face that she's a superstar. Gosh. I wish she'd spend her time on thanking God her son is still alive, instead of thanking God she can use her 'single mom' status as an excuse for compensate money.

Unresolved Resolutions

I am a diary keeper. I have like series of diaries since i was 13 and walking the path of teenagehood. Those days (1997) there was no such thing as "emo". People were either nerds, goth or normal. I was half nerd and half goth. Nerd because i was always struggling in studies (to impress people) and goth because of the ammount of eyeliner and make up i used to put on my face. Well, i meant a lot for a 13 year old. Those days was filled with made-up drama about boys, puppy love, and friends and trying to figure out who the hell you are. Fast forward to my life 7 years later something caught my attention. One of the diary entries was a list of New year resolution. And yes. It made me laugh.

1. Learn to cook.
Yeh that was what u call, an epic fail. I cant cook anything that isnt either burnt or undercook. But i enjoyed it. The only part i hate about cooking is cleaning up after. Evidently though, i can at least bake cakes and cookies (ALWAYS always referring to recipe books ofcourse) so my future husband (at that time was supposed to be Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park and *barf* Fred Durst) wont be starving.

2. Love My Boyfriend
Hahaha... This was funny. At 20 i was in a steady relationship with some dude at college. (no names here of course) and had trouble of ummm... loving him. Yeh i was faithful Basically because i was acne-faced and i had no options. And my boyfriend that time practically wallpapered my forehead with a huge "This is my GF. KEEP OFF" sign. But this as a resolution? haha wth...

3. Be a Vegetarian
HAHAHA~ I would have, honestly if vegetables tasted like chicken instead of leaves. I was supporting anti-animal-cruelty i decided to become a vegetarion. And until now, I'm still deciding.

4. Study and get 4.00 cpa.
Awww... At this time it was a resolution and i got to give myself credit because i managed to score a 4.00 at my final semester. But of course i lost friends and i turned from half nerd-half goth to full time nerd.

5. Be Religious and Pray 5 Times a Day
Like every year, this resolution is always on the list. I was pretty much a religious girl back then. Prolly as a HUGE excuse to not have sex with my boyfriend that time haha (ye at 20 sex for me was ugly and gross). This will come around again of course, hopefully as a guide not excuse.

Well, flippin through the pages there are still some hilariously unresolved resolutions i need to get back on. Some of them include "get a good fashion sense" and "diet (idk why though i was weighing 45 kg when i was 20, i probably wanted to become a twig)" and "play sports" which never really turned out like i expected.. So I wonder what will my next year resolution be.

How to quit an online game addiction

Tales of Pirates, igg.com, Moonlight server, -Demi Gods guild-

If I can answer this question I would be awarded a double PhD in psychology alongside with a Nobel Prize for finally solving one of mankind’s worst disease.

Tales of Pirate, igg.com, Phoenix server -SingaMalaya Guild-

1. Know what addiction means

Addiction is, according to dictionary.com ,the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

--> causes severe trauma :) hahaha I can’t help but to laugh at this, but it’s so true.

2. Know when u are addicted

When the Real World starts to look like your game screen or when you start to feel emotions that arises from the game, when the game people are your only friends and when you start spending your salary or allowance on a game, it’s a RED LIGHT warning that you have just become a pure MMORPG addict. It is time to press the pause button while you still can.

Tales of pirates, igg.com, Phoenix server -iNsighT guild-

3. Try taking a break

One of the things NOT to do when quitting is ANNOUNCE to people you’re quitting and make a grand goodbye. It doesn’t really work. The trick is to do it at the most random time and never force yourself to do it. Try taking a break from it and filling up your time with another hobby such as reading or *ahem* blogging. This will slowly fade your interest towards the game and gradually will help you forget about it.

4. Taking RANDOM destructive DRASTIC actions / alternative to step 3 xD

A friend of mine told me how he quit the game. Uninstall it. It’s brutal, it’s on the spot, it works. Another action is to give away your stuff in the game to random people so you’ll have nothing to go back to. Cut-off any connection you have with your game friends and pretend as if the game never happened in your life. Harsh. But it saves a life. Yours.

5. Log in the game to make a closure

Noo! Not log in the game to play again x.x Closures are what help people put an end to things. Log back in game after the long break and find EVERY single reason to quit. For example, you’re game character is not as strong as others because of your long break, your friends forgot about you, you are constantly being ignored by everyone you knew, and how the game causes you more sadness than happiness. (this is the emo guide of qutting a MMORPG)

6. Do step #4 if you haven’t already.

7. If neither of those steps work, write down a weird set of number/letter/symbol combination. For example !@m@L053R and make it your game password. Then burn the paper so you will never be able to log back into the game again xD

8. Just accept the fact that being in front of the computer playing video games for hours and hours is really unhealthy and makes you fat, ugly and useless. Just take a deep breath, quit and do useful stuff you been missing out like chores, partying, watch movies, TV etc etc. If you need online friends or games, there’s always FACEBOOK which is less addictive. (well idk, I got some friends who are reeeeeeally addicted to FB). It’s your own decision to quit or not. Your choice. Your health. Your Life.

Tales of Pirates, igg.com moonlight server -deadsox guild-

MALAYSIAN DRIVERS SUCK DONKEY A**!~

Except me xD

I just realized my blogs have been nainly focused on relationship problems im sure people are getting bored. I'm not a good symbol of success in the love department anyways. As i was driving through the roads of Malacca two days ago i was reminded that i needed to blog about how SUCKY Malaysian drivers are. Selfish. Stupid. Irresponsible.

There was once a time when i was driving home from KLIA with my brother and overdrove a couple who were probably giving one another a BJ since they were driving at 20 km/h. Suddenly the guy saw me overtakin them and he pressed on the accelerator so i couldnt return to my lane. Sacringly enough it was a two lane road and there was a truck coming over my way. The good thing is i dont panic when it comes to situations like these (i just panic when i get lost) so i had to slam in the brakes an return to my lane behind the asshole's car.

The good thing about my car is the acceleration power. (sorry guys idk any mechanical terms) And the BJ dudes' car was kind off old and noobish. At the chance i get I rammed my accelerator and overdrove him, this time with SPEED and my bro gave them the "finger". Then as an act of revenge, i drove 20km/h in front of them and when they tried to overtake me i accelerated. And boy it pissed them off i could imagine the BJ didnt turn out so well. try to get me killed again asshole~

Another situation in Jalan Tun Razak, KL. There was a girl driver trying to get out from a roadside parking and caused a minor traffic jam. I didnt mind it at all since traffic jams happen a LOT in KL. But suddenly a dude came out from his car and started yelling at the girl driver. He was practically smashing her window and scaring the hell out of the poor girl. There were curses and yelling and he was kicking her door. I was like WTF?! People came around to see wth was happening and NOONE stopped the guy from acting like a madman. I would say the girl was lucky to have her doors locked. And yes, in his car was his girlfriend feeling PROUD to have such a "Brave" boyfriend who supposedly saved KL from traffic jam. In my opinion? What a stupid JERK. It didnt resolved the jamn it made it worse.

Don't even let me get started with the truck drivers in Malaysia. They are the road main murderers killing like 100 people a day. Mostly being handled by drunken people I suggest you stay away from driving too close from them.

Motorcyclists. Uuuuurrrghhhh! I as a civilian would like to BEG for the government to do something to CONTROL the population of motorcycles in Malaysia. They are as annoying as FLIES hovering a pile of poop. They are EVERYWHERE and the worst part is you have to put them priority because supposedly their lives are "fragile". That's when they act so stupidly and gay. Driving in front of you, coming from nowhere, slowing you down... Almost making you hit them. I have a HUGE dislike towards motorcyclisti just wish they stop breeding X.X Oh and dont get into trouble with one, coz when you do, a WHOLE pack of them come with helmets and baseball bats to smash your windows. No mater whose fault it was.

Sigh, i wish there will be one day where these Malaysian drivers would have some sense of responsbility and stop being so self-centered. And learn to STOP at a zebra crossing -_-

Why women cheat?!

Why do men cheat? Well the answer is simple. They're men. It's what they do. They treat women as women treat clothes. Wanting variety as wearing the same clothes is "boring". But modern days shows women and men as equals, and we with progestrone hormones commit the same crime. Yes. Women cheat. Googling this issue on the net today, i found a cool research on why WOMEN (as oppose to men cheat). And according to Askmen.com here are the reasons.

10. NOT ENOUGH SEX
Well like men, we do like to feel satisfied every now and then. Not the boring routine of pleasing his own needs and then the "oh im so drained. good night." Unlike men, women find the kissing and cuddling more satisfying than the maincourse itself. Sex is emotional, not an activity for us girls. Yes we are attention whores. If you can't provide it, we move on. "NEXT!"

9. BEING THE BAD GIRL
Expecting us to be the good girl who listens to u all the time, staying at home being goody goody is just WRONG. Like men we want to be admired, worshipped and we want to RAWR! If men can't make her feel this, might as well find someone who will. Women want to know all the time that she have options. One boyfriend is sometimes just not enough. The devil may be released from the angel once in a while. It's up to men to figure out how to handle these wave of hunger.

8. SELF ESTEEM
Yes. Cheating boosts the self esteem. Makes women feel there's always plan B when the unstable relationship she is being provided falls apart.

7. REVENGE/paybacks for past-wrong
Do it once, shame on you. Do it twice, shame on us. Once you had broken the relationship by cheating on women, or being the reason you fell apart they will ALWAYS cheat on you. Once a relationship has been broken, it will NEVER be the same. It's kind of the main reason why broken up couples should NOT get back together. And the confidence in the relationship has been destroyed, so women will always seek for another. Some may do it for revenge. Some just for the sake of it.
6. LACK OF INTIMACY
Like #10 this is the part where men are so newb at. God created Eve to be Adam's companion. She was made from his weakest rib bone to symbolize the fragileness (self-made word) of womanhood. Women NEEDS love and attention. We need to be cared about, to be told that we are loved, to be reminded that we are beautiful. Women needs to be touched, not just physically but directly where it counts the most. The HEART.

5. FEELING NEGLECTED/IGNORED/UNAPPRECIATED
An ex of mine once asked me why is he never enough for me. Why must there always be other men in my life. Well here's the answer. I WAS UNAPPRECIATED. I was treated like a switch he could turn off and on anytime he wants to. I am a place he can curse and yell at and say whatever comes in mind. I dont cheat to sleep with other men. I just wanted to be NOTICED. to be APPRECIATED. And until I can get this from one man. There will always be another.

4. MEN's EMOTIONAL WITHDRAWAL
Once a man decided to stop listening, it's when a woman decided to stop talking. And when a woman decided to stop talking, it's a sign she's moving on. When a man doesn't help his woman emotionally, she will seek someone who will.

3. BEDROOM BOREDOM
When a man couldn't be bothered to put his own needs aside for 2 minutes to do what a girl wants, it get's boring. We need to be entertained too. "Next!"

2. EXIT STRATEGY
Instead of breaking up with you, we cheat on you. Why? so we dont have to go through the "heart-broken" phase. Women can sense sometimes when a relationship is falling apart. Smart. But evil.

1. REVENGE FOR YOUR CHEATING
None of my boyfriends really cheated on me (thank God!) but during a "break-up" phase one did involve another woman in. And the visual image couldnt leave my head. It's a sign of disaster in this relationship because there are things that can't be forgiven. The bitterness of the affair will always haunt my head. And for that i could never stop seeking for another man's attention.

It's just ego, guys. Don't give us any reason to stray. And we are yours to be forever <3

A Woman's View : How to handle your girl on PMS

Pre-Menstrual syndrome or stress or also defined as Pre-menstrual Tension is a phase that happens EVERY month in an average girl's life. It mainly affects on emotional responses makin the girl more sensitive and as people nowadays call "emo" and every single little thing can make her overeact and change to pissy mode. Not all girls suffer this (yeah note that *suffer*, it's not pleasent at all) but majority of us do.

GUYSSSS CHILL!!!

Remember it's just a PHASE. (unless your girlfriend feeds on emo cookies and is emo for life) My normal PMS days are usually 1-2 days before the REAL period and 1 day during, sometimes one day after. So normally my average PMS phase lasts for 4 days. This is the moment where EVERYTHING is wrong. From the "I love you"s not being said enough to 10 hours of spending time together a day is "too short"

I'm not going to discuss on the scientific aspect of this situation you can look it up on wikepedia.

Bear with us, guys :) Not only do we have to suffer the menstrual cramps (trust me, the pain can even make a girl black out... Sometimes almost like giving birth) which drains out our energy, but we also have to take extra care on cleanliness and not to mention our bodies get supersensitive (low antibody) and exposed to all kinds of sickness, from migraine to diarrhea (sp?) so ye, i think that gives u every reason to walk around feeling like the whole world is trying to get us >.<

How to handle? Well don't try too hard. and DON'T NOT try at all. Just act normal and when she complains about how hard her life is, even when u just came back from a very stressful day, just listen and keep reminding her that everything will be okay.Yeah, giving too much attention may make her crave more and take a lot of your time, but hey, all we ask for is undying love and attention for 4 days in a month! Stop complaining when you ask for sex 120 times a month!

1. Make her feel attractive. PMS makes a girl feel totally ugly and gross so make her feel beautiful. Be creative.
2. Take her to awesome dinner restaurants. Don't let her cook unless u wannna taste a spoonful of cyanide.
3. Make surprise gestures like buy gifts (trust me, even a keychain would make her happy)
4. Call her (if ur away) every 30 mins-1 hour to check if she's feeling all right
5. Make her laugh, spend time with her, do something fun to distract her from the PMS phase (even if it backfires, the fact that u tried would make her happy)
6. Art therapy. Write a poem even if it sounds stupid. or just sing for her, even if it sounds more stupid.
7. Remind her again and again you love her and everything will be all right.
8. Kiss, hug, hold her hand all the time. Body contact is always welcome. Symbol of comfort.
9. LISTEN. When she nags, talk, complain.. LISTEN and always agree. ALWAYS AGREE.
10. Don't be a stranger. Just treat her like you always do that makes her love you everyday.


Don't see us as a different person just because of this. Ye the demons may make us wanna feed on your flesh but honestly we're very harmless. Just keep reminding your girl you're there for her and remind her things will be better. And ALWAYS pay attention unless you want her to go raid your garage for a chainsaw.

GOOD LUCK ^^ cheers