5 REASONS WHY I'M SINGLE (haha!)

As i was surfing through Yahoo Blogs today I found an article on 5 things NOT to do in a relationship which I also realized were the 5 things that are commonly commited in my past 100 relationships and causing them to... Well you know, i'm a single 26 year old so you get the point. So I decided to elaborate a bit on these 5 Don'ts according to my personal experience.

1. You’re frequently disappointed by your partner’s gifts or gestures.

TRUE. I'm always expecting more. I expect him to pay attention to me when I want something through my hints and interest. Whenever the gift isn't up to my expectations, i became really disappointed and show it, makin him feel hurt and upset. Maybe it's time to expect less and appreciate every little thought that counts.

2. You focus on his faults.

Yes, even Mr Right cannot be perfect. During the relationship era, I tend to find reasons on why it won't work out instead of reasons on why it would. And being the EGO headed person I am, every fault is his coz I tend to see myself as the perfect GF even if i do know I'm way beyond that. I guess to fix this matter I should take some blame and make some cute apologies to salvage what's left.

3. You’re too available or have drastically changed your routine for him.

Ok. BULLSEYE. I dont know but it's kinda hard not to feel like you want to impress other guys except your own bf. Maybe it's coz i'm so proud to be his lover that I want him to feel proud to be mine so i try too hard. But some of these gestures usually turn out to be backfiring and I end up looking cheap and easy and of course, leading to mistrusts and fights. Guess I should keep reminding myself that he loves me and that love is really all I need.

4. You’ve stopped getting glam for your dates…ever.

Hmm... This only happens when I'm at the verge of losing interest towards my bf . Not something I worry about but when i stopped trying to look nice, means I couldnt be bothered to and the relationship is ending. Chances of salvaging? ZERO.

5. You discuss your relationship too much.

OMG where is this heading? OMG we're drifting apart!!! OMG you dont love me as much as I love you! OMG you're doing NOTHING for me anymore! OMG this is going nowhere!!!

Yeah I do freak out a lot. Maybe too much. Relationships are meant to be some good experience that makes you happy. The only phase in your life that requires the least amount of thoughts. Not filled with stressful talks which usually end up in disagreements. I need to start thinking less about my relationship and try to enjoy it. ;)

THE ROAD NOT TAKEN... Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that, the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. There's always moments in our lives when we would keep asking ourselves... "what if?"

GOLD DIGGER~!

They're everywhere... breeding like rabbits... In your office, among your friends... They're sickeningly sporing like fungus... Aiming for the dudes with $$... And even as i have nothing against them.. These species of people (both women AND men) are freakingly annoying and bothers the mind of how people can get stuff the easy way...


Gold diggers
- Doesnt it just grosses you out when u think that sweet pretty girls are sugarbabies then suddenly poof! your ugly friend whose hobby is nose scratching is established as one?

- The Gold Diggers are one thing, but the man being digged... Isnt he a dumbass or something?

- They say that Gold diggers are smarter version of hookers... is this a good or a bad thing? The dude buys ur pride and body (with the risk of STDs and shyt) and u get some materials stuff... how is that smart?!

- Well im not one to judge. Anyone can bitch about how they hate gold diggers but when they are offered $$$, they go weak in the knees and become one... lol! Just here to vent :)

GOTH vs GAY

Ahahaha!! A friend of mine from Germany (thanks, Ott) sent this pic to me and it's just FREAKIN HILARIOUSSS!!!

THINGS NOT TO DO IN MY ZONE (or other public areas)

My zone = The PUBLIC area where i'm around.... AND GOSH this is SERIOUS!!!

1. STINK (BO and bad breath)


Okay like SERIOUSLY.... Going out in public places, the possibility of ending up sitting or standing near to a human being and you couldn't help yourself but STINK... Geeeez... seriously what is so hard about carrying MINTS and using DEODORANT when you know you're going to be in civilised area...


2. TEETH FLOSSING (or any teeth activities)




Gross... It's not only rude, but it's just a disgusting habit. Comon, seriously dont do this in front of people x.x it's just wrong.... OMG... at least get your lazy ass up and go the bathroom or somewhere private to do this... geez...

3. PICK YOUR NOSE

Seriously? when people are around? Pick the right moments to dig gold in the mine... It's just ridiculously disgusting... like omagad... And flickin em in random places ... God knows who's handbag or pants the boger might hit... yucks! and i have friend who keeps scratching her nose in public, while makin the "face"... so if you're reading.. please for the love of God...STOP IT!!!

4. CRACK EXPOSING

Okay... skimpy clothes??? cool... thongs? cute... Bra straps? hot to some people, no problem.. but CRACK flaunting??? Why.. WHY would people be exposed to such horrific areas of the body... sheesh... Lowered Jeans are cool... Even Super-lowered is HOT in the market... But lowered to the extent of showing off your crack?? Geez next time i see one i'm gonna pour my ICED-Pepsi down there since it's craving for that much attention...

5. SPIT



Okay i said it once i'm saying again... IT IS GROSS...! 90% of Malaysian guys do this... and they ask me why i dont date locals... Seriously.. if u wanna spit... Go PRIVATE!! what's to not be disgusted by the sound of the phlegm-sucking and the greenish-yellow slime that came out from the guts and landed on the ground... gosh at least have some respect for my shoes!!!


6. STARE


OMG... girls... boys... do it ALL the freakin time! always makes me feel like i have two heads... It's RUDE to stare don't parents always tell kids that? zzzzzz Ok i get it i'm pretty and hot, but the staring can stop now... freakin makin me check myself out in random reflective surfaces every 30 seconds...




7. SMOKE


FOR GOD'S SAKE have some respect for people who chose not to die voluntarily by lung cancer! SECOND degree smokers have higher risks of lung cancer and other smokin-caused diseases so, please kindly smoke your life away someplace else...



8. EXCESSIVE PDA (Public Display of AFFECTION)

Okay i get it. I'm 26, unemployed single woman. My boyfriend is thousands of miles away, stop rubbing it in my face! Ass-grabbing, boob poking, the lickin, the kissin... the handjobs... OMG like seriously! GET A FREAKING ROOM!!! Or go behind a building or something! Gosh!
p/s : ye ye.. i'm jealous... so what..?

9. BURP / FART / NOSE-BLOWING / etc etc



Okay the Daily PERSONAL activities of the human being. Burp? rude. Fart? unless you can make history or burn something, it's just plain gross. The rest you can judge yourself...

WELCOME TO THE OLD MAID ERA

OH MY GOD!!! Just within these three weeks 5 of my friends walked down the aisle to proudly announce their "I DO"s leaving me almost with a heart attack and blood rush of anxiety (?), horror (!) and "OMG"s... MARRIED... Some even already have 2-3 kids!!! Turning 21 was easy. Life was just beginning. Boys came and went. Turning 25 was getting a little bit intense...Less boys came and more boys went... Turning 26 started to light up the RED signal of my life as a CRITICAL warning that half a century has gone by and living the singleton life has lost the sweetness and welcoming the bitterness of the possibility it's all i'm gonna have for the rest of my life!!!

I WELCOME MYSELF (and other 26 year old single women) to the AGE OF THE OLD SPINSTER...!

WHo would have known that this popular kid in school having to go through infinite number of boyfriends and crushes would be the last one to settle down. Yeah, i had my golden time, having tremendous amount of love letters and secret admirers that got my mom worried the whole time i was naggin on the phone with my boys. And now, as that era passed by too quicky, i put another worry in my mother's mind... "my daughter's gonna be an old spinster with 30 cats!!!" From the first boyfriend (I was 11 when i had a first official bf) to the first broken heart (at 15, clueless and too hopeful) to the first dates and adventures... i became this confident dear girl who never worried about being alone. I knew someday i would find a soulmate, one who's tall, rich and handsome (you know, the whole package) and that i have all the right stuff to get all that. Yeah, undoubtly all my boyfriends in the past had at least 1 of all the qualities but i always wanted more... Leaving them, moving on to the next...wash, rinse, repeat... i never quite found the ONE person i saw a future with... i never had enough...

And this weird greed has put me in the place i am now. NOONE is ever good enough. I forgot that at 15-25, time seem to stop. And after 25, gosh... there must be less than 30 seconds in one minute... time just rushes through... And the "noone is ever good enough" principle... well... backfired!!! The thing is that, ladies... always... ALWAYS remember when you're young, the BEST species of men approaches you... you know the older guys with career, credit cards, cars, cash and condos (The Ultimate 5Cs) and as you enter the (other half of your life) era, the ONLY ones that want you would be the teenagers with raging hormones, the innocent species of men that only knows fairytale love, ignorant of what's really out there.

So young guys want OLD women and older guys want YOUNG girls fresh from the market!!! Am i still qualified as young through the eyes of 40+ year old men...?

What is in store for us, the "older women??" A lonely life ahead? Or is there still a chance to put ourselves out there, in hopes of the "older" prince charming who, as much as us are also still in search of his bride, despite the lost time? Or should our wait be put to a stop and our lives be dedicated to career and cats...?

I for one, wont settle for less. Yeah okay, all my friends are married, giving birth... living the family life already, but this wont be the reason for me to say YES to the next guy when he pops the question just because of the "FEAR" of living life alone... I, representing the single 26 year olds am still HOPEFUL in this search of love. It may not be today, tomorow, may not be the guy next door or at the next state... May not even be the man i knew from my past...One person kept reminding me that someone, somewhere at the other side of this world loves me... and I am proud to be a single 26 year old woman with this hope to hold on to... So what if im a corpse in a wedding dress??? Oh and yes, focusing on career instead of men is a good option too... at least this will get you somewhere... xD

p/s : Well i was exagerrating bout the corpse... this image is freakin scary but you get my point :P

The Goodbyes...

Wow.. Been a while since my last post and how i've drifted into the long lost world of online gaming... Reality is finally pulling me back to the ground again, and it sank my heart to realize the things i have lost in these past few weeks.

But the topic for today is "goodbye". The most painful, saddest word to ever exist in the dictionary of life. So sad, even my niece dare not to say or face it everytime we had to leave.

But it's part of life. We meet people. we buy things. we adopt animals. And at one point, we would have to depart from them. We may see them again. But we may not. How could we ever know that the wave goodbye at that departure bridge would be the last one that was filled with too much love and hope, until that one day you wake up and realize it's just a blurry image of a very sweet memory. Would it have been a better goodbye? would you have let them go if you knew, they would be gone forever? Would you have just stood there, feet locked to the ground, staring at that face as he fades into the distant?

I remember the first thing i lost as a child was this stuffed penguin i used to carry everywhere. My mom told me i lost in a bus somewhere in London. But i roughly remember i put it in a cupboard in someone's house that looked like an oven... But i guess who would ever listen to a 5 year old. It was the first thing i ever loved. The first thing i ever lost. It can't be replaced. And i didnt even get to say goodbye. And now, as i look at the penguins they sell in stores, im always reminded of this childhood friend i lost, and just smiled to myself how i be so young and understand how to love...

years go by, i move to different places, met new friends, boyfriends, enemies, rivals... said my goodbyes, moved on to the next... goodbyes again... and the circle of my life continues... but did they ever knew how each and everyone of them mattered in my life. For the lessons they taught me, the love they gave me and the life they built for me. Do they know when i love someone i gave them my whole heart, and even knowing someday i might regret them, i still do... Do they know that the goodbyes always leave a lump in my throat, breaking my heart and the fact that my stubborn head just sometimes cant accept the fact that it's a final goodbye, until one time i realize it is, and i just fall apart...

And the thing is, do we ever learn? does it get easier as we recite more and more goodbyes in our lives? does it get less heartbreaking? Can we just erase the fact that the departure leaves a deep black hole in our hearts? can we just bury the pain?

When i left my cat Neo to be with my family in Borneo Island.. that tear-filled eyes just looked up at me, wanting to say something but couldnt. She just stared at the car that took me away, probably wondering why i left, and when i'm coming back. But i know she believes i am coming home. Because i always do... Between me and Neo will never ever be a goodbye... coz i'll always come home...


When i said goodbye to my job i didnt want to look back. It was a phase i had to move on. And i have no regrets on all the decision made. Some goodbyes are for the better. But is it still sad? of course... it's still a goodbye...

Pondering on the past, being broken and sad isnt fair for the people in the present around you trying to make you a better future... They're the ones who are healing you, making you smile, giving you new hope. THey are the ones picking up the pieces, fixing your heart and filling ur days with laughter. And how would it hurt them to know that you're too tied up in a memory, too broken to let them in... It's time to wake up and move on from the pain you left behind...

it's time to say goodbye to the goodbye that broke your heart and give chance for yourself to heal....