Jealousy... requirement? or trash?

Is jealousy necessary in a relationship? Or is it just a spreading virus that only causes the love and trust to disappear and flushed down the toilet. Anne speaks, :-

Jealousy is a feeling of discomfort in the heart when you see something that u want or desire lingers around something that is not you. It's a need unfulfilled. It's a disease if not controlled can ruin your life and everything that you cherish.

In a relationship, what if there's no jealousy at all? What if there's too much space and freedom for both parties to stray without either one having any feeling of frustration or disappointment?Doesn't this mean that the relationship is unhealthy and practically worthless as both of you don't care if there's a possibility one of you can find another?

Personally I think it's necessary to have some slight jealousy to make a relationship work. It's a nice rush when your partner worries about you being stolen by someone else. Makes you feel appreciated and wanted and loved. And shows how much he/she doesn't like sharing you with another thus trying harder to make sure your attention belongs to only him/her. If they always use the phrase "I trust you" even when you do your best to make em jealous usually it means "I don't care you can be with whoever you want. I dont love you that much anyway..." Then it's time to move on and be with someone who does care and wants you to be just theirs.

*NOTE FOR GIRLS*

It starts to really suck when in a relationship only one person feels the pain of jealousy while the other couldn't care any less. My opinion, if he is not scared of the possibility of losing you to another it either means :-

1. He doesn't love you that much and doesn't care about losing you

2. He has a plan B. (Meaning he has another girl on the side, you moron!)

3. You're ugly

4. He's hot (or he thinks he is) that he knows you'll be crawling back to him soon anyway.

The trick is to treat him EXACTLY how he treats you. If he's not jealous why do you even bother? Move on! Start to NOT care! (and if he is the superjealous kind, be that way too. Let him know how being tied up feels like!)

Back to jealousy...

However, it's the kind of thing that can kill when it's too much. Obsession is never a healthy thing for anyone. Too much jealousy is like putting chains around your feet. When jealousy becomes thicker, trust becomes thinner, to the point where it messes up your emotions and leads to constant fights and destroys the whole relationship. Sooner or later the chains becomes barb wires that causes more pain while still imprisoning you.

Love with no trust is no love in the first place. But Love with too much trust is just careless.

Time For A Change...

You know God is on your side when you start feeling sorry for your enemy for all the good things you're getting and the nothingness she has. You finally stop hating her and ready to move on with your life. With one last sarcasm "goodbye dear ex best friend, i am finally getting somewhere in life and you'll be here, rotting in this hell hole you call a workplace...", I held my head high, turned around, smiled, satisfied and walked away. It was that very moment i realized how sorry I felt for her and how i never want to be in her position.

Years after years I havent been an angel to deserve all the good things in life. I have sinned, i have had bad intentions. Lust for guys' attention. Envy for the people more successful than me. Greed for money and expensive gifts. Gluttony for classy cuisines and beverages. Pride big enough to sink in Mount everest and hurting people i love with it. Sloth for housework and helping people. Wrath in almost every little thing that happened. And yet, here I am, my wishes coming true even though i know I'm too far away from deserving it.

So I guess He listens. No matter what type of person you are, there's always a chance in you getting your wishes come true if it comes with good intentions. It's an ease of the soul when you let go of that hatred you feel for someone and start to feel sympathy for her luck. It's a piece of mind when you forgive her for backstabbing you. It's time for a change when you can finally breathe in clean air and move on with your life towards a better future :)

Credits to an ex best friend who decided to be an enemy

I'll be the Judge of that...

Humans were created with a gift that differentiates them with animals. COMMON SENSE. The ability to tell what's wrong and what's right. The intelligence to make decisions in any circumstances and the knowledge to learn from them. The free will to conduct any actions and to raise any thought. And this leads humans to JUDGE.

Judging is a divine power. It is for the Mighty to decide or to put label on His creations. Humans were born equal. What differs us from each other is our own perspective and the effort we put into improving our lives.

I dont mean the court judge. Those judgements are based on theories and evidence (unless there's bribery of course). My high respect for the people with these authority as they carry a big weight of responsibilities. This blog is about judging people in a society. Based on personal issues and emotions. The one people aren't being paid for.

Ever since i was 16, surviving in a new society was never easy. Having a universally open mind and wild personality, i tend to be an outcast in every group of people i was involved with. It was only at that age, i was occasionally shunt from the society and had to adapt to living in my own world. My schoolmates didnt know who i was, or how i was. They had no idea how i grew up or how my behaviour was in the previous 15 years of my life. The hardship of life began here. When i was judged by this new society. When I was labeled.

Why do people judge others to the extent of making their lives miserable? I read in the papers this previous Eid of how young girls got shunt from their family and the society because they got pregnant without marriage. No companies would employ them, no friends would help them. These girls survive by becoming prostitutes and begging random people for food and shelter. And people just twitch their nose, utter an "ewww...." and look down at them, disgusted with not even the least bit of sympathy.

Noone volunteers to have flaws. No drug addict in the world prayed to be one. No prostitutes had written their present 'career' in their childhood wish list. Noone hopes to make mistakes. We all dream of perfection. Some of us got lucky. Some of us failed.

And most of us who got lucky, failed in the aspects of humanity. We judge them. We labeled them as trash. We call them hopeless. We turn our heads away and laugh at their pain. We assumed that was their choice of life and we just punish them by our mocks and sarcasm. We did what only God have the right to do. We judged.

Try spend a day ans sit in the comfortable sofa of a Starbucks restaurant and look around you. Look at how you label people. A girl in big, drapy clothes, her hair covered in a burkha walking with her boyfriend holding hands, and when no one notices, holding more than just hands. Another girl in casual clothes and jeans, hanging out with her friends, her hair tied in a ponytail laughing and having fun. They look at each other. Nodded. And looked away, realizing they were two very different people. One seen as the "perfect" girl and the other as the "slut". And sadly, in the society we live in, the girl in the burkha wins for her choice of fashion.

Up until today i am still being judged. Because I dont wear the normal clothes that hide my flaws and my sins, people make me who they think i am. Married men pursue me thinking i would settle for anything with a penis. Single men think i am an object to have and let go whenever they please. Married girls think I'm chasing after their husbands. Single girls hate and despise me for all the attention i get. And They just wouldn't stop judging until i blend in.

But Guess What?

I LOVE BEING DIFFERENT.

Credits to Rayan Basha for this inspiration.

Malaysia oh Malaysia (Part 2 - The Murder Solved)

While people were busy celebrating Eid, being with families and eating awesome Eid dishes, some people were mourning over the lost of a cosmetic millionaire who was brutally torchered, stabbed, minced and burned and ashes were scattered in a river. Her story became a high profile case with all the Policemen in the country racing against time to solve the murder and putting aside their Eid vacation. Congratulations to the efficiency (or luck) of the investigators, her case was solved in 2 weeks after her disappearance and some lawyer dude (also a rich ass) was caught having not only to lead the murder, but has been on a killing spree which were unresolved some years ago. As an old Malay proverb says, "Smart maybe the squirrel in its leaps, but in the end it just falls hard to the ground..."

My deepest condolence go the late Dato Sosilawati's family for having to endure such big loss and heartbreaking tragedy during Aidilfitri.

But doesn't that make us wonder why, with all the super technology and smart braincells and efficiency, there are still simpler cases unresolved? For example the murder of Nurin Jazlin, (8 years old, 2009, raped, molested, sodomized, murdered and folded into a suitcase) , the disappearence of Sharlene, and even a few more hundred disappearance/murder cases involving middle-class Malaysians. Is it because the families of these people can't afford a news conference? Is it because these families can't promise the investigators bags of rewards? Or is it because these families are not famous and high profile enough to motivate the CSIs to help them get some justice.

Having solved the case of the cosmetic millionaire, it shows that our policemen are not dumb and have the potential to become super-detectives. With some motivation and technology, they have the ability to crack a case and put the person responsible for it in hand-cuffs. So I don't see why they still haven't solved the other murder cases where the body found was more intact than ashes scattered in a river. And why these cases, unsolved, are forgotten like movies that hit box office in the cinema, enjoyed it's moment, and faded away in time... forgotten, until television decides to put them on.

I'm not here to ask for an explanation on WHY or HOW the forensics or CSI (whatever u call it) choose which cases are priority. I just hope for them to make a move and help not only the rich, but every single people in this country to seek justice so we can live in a country that's fair without discrimination. I'm sure the pain of losing a family member is equally tragic for everyone no matter how much money you have in the bank.

:)

Malaysia Oh Malaysia... (Part 1 - The controversy)

Eid 2010... A celebration for the Victory of Muslims for completing a month of religious activities and fasting. A controversial event this year as Malaysians debate on whether the "1 Malaysia" slogan, founded by the PM is appropriate for the mentality of Malaysians or not. This Aidilfitri, shows that we're just not ready...

THE CONTROVERSIAL COMMERCIAL

Ramadhan opened with a controversial TV3 commercial of Eid Celebration. The 1st time it aired, Malays from all around the country jumped up in horror at the appearance of a Malay Santa Claus carrying children on a Trishaw (ye lol NO reindeers) to a field that looks like Eden with a lot of technology.



(if vid fails to play, visit this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO1e6KXO88U)

I don't see how the Malays saw this commercial as a negative impact. I dont praise it either. I just think it's lack of ideas with too much technology. The Santa Claus part? i think it's more like an ET scene where the kid put him on his bike basket and flew around. I dont see how this could be considered controversial. But after complaints and people making too much of a big deal out of it, TV3 decided to cancel the commercial and made a public apology. Kudos TV3!~ (Epic fail for a 1 Malaysia commercial attempt)

Not meaning to take sides here, i personally think that what TV3 tried to potray was a magical celebration of Eid adopting some traditions from othe celebrations such as christmas, Deepavali etc without meaning any harm. Nothing religious about it, just makin Eid general for all the races to celebrate together to support the 1 Malaysia slogan. But I'm guessng Eid is still a sacred day for Muslims and it's not appropriate to be commercialized. Whatever it is, people can believe whatever they want and respect each other's opinions :)

p/s I still think it's an adoption from ET xD

~~!!HAPPY EID TO ALL!!~~

Jumah, 1st Syawal 1431 , Friday, 10th September 2010

EMOTIONAL or PHYSICAL???

Random question time...

Which is worse? Your partner cheating on you emotionally? Or just physically?

Maybe a no-brainer for everyone. I'm sure most will just dive in and answer "Of course Physically not Emotionally coz it's barely visible"
Think about it. Personally i think that it would just hurt more if your partner cheats on you emotionally. Physical attraction is normally temporary and l doesn't last too long. But emotional attraction usually is permanent and leaves a deep scar that can't be healed. Why? Because it's not visible.

LOVE begins from the heart. When you're in love, it triggers all the weird hormones and emotions and affecting your physical being. It's the main reason why you're with your partner in the first place. Sex is random. You can live with or without it. That's why God created hands. When a person starts to develop devotion towards another, it affects their thinking and creates an obsession of longing for something they can't have. And this makes you the enemy. The only thing that is stopping them from pursuing the person they fell for. They began to despise you. Feelings are not a switch you can turn off and on anytime you want, and the more it is held back, the more it developes.

Until one day it bursts. Once your partner falls for another, they stop loving you. They would have this craving to engage in a physical event with the other and affect your whole relationship. It is OVER. Once he/she starts to fall for another person, consider your relationship over. Let's compare with physical adultry. It's almost the same thing. A crave for something different. A need for some variety in life. This is less harmful as it sounds, unforgivable, but trust me it ends. When your partner strays, there will be a point in this event where it will stop and he will come back to you feeling so guilty and disgusted with him/herself that he will do anything he can to fix the relationship.

So yeah, I truly believe that cheating emotionally is by far more harmful than physical. What hurts the body dont really hurt the heart. But what hurts the heart, is a life-long pain that can't be healed no matter how hard you try.

DON'T CHEAT! xD