DREAMS...

Dream within a dream

need not ask this, i'm sure EVERYONE has experienced weird dreams or nightmares at one point. It was last night, when i had a dream about a stranger i haven't met that inspired me to write about this. Malays believe that some dreams are sign of what's to happen in a person's life. For example, if you dream about a snake, specifically a python, means someone is about to propose to you. Another example is if you dream about flood, for anything consisting water, you will get a lot of money soon. And also, if you dream about your tooth falling off, means a person close to you is going to die. Sometimes, some dreams are pre-events in reality that when they do happen you will feel like you've been here, done this. This is famously called "deja vu"

I'm not really a traditional believer. I think dreams are dreams. Probably scientifically explained that dreams are thoughts you put in the bottom of your mind and didnt think about it until you're rested. Like a computer scan that does it's work when you're unconsious.

I had a dream about a mall once. One i have never been to. And this shopping mall kept appearing in dreams about 5-6 times until it started to get freaky. Until now, i never really resolved this weird dream. But in my sleep, it's a mall i always go to. And not to mention i ALWAYS dream about meeting old friends and boyfriends i lost contact with, to find them married with children and sympathy on their faces on my luck in that department. Scary dreams are the worst kinds. I am a true scaredy cat. I HATE ghosts. But in dreams when i encounter them, i became this superhero who slays them with super religious prayers i dont really know in real life. And just yesterday i dreamed of escaping some evil villains with a friend (a dude very close to me) and getting on a boat with a mysterious sailor. Supposedly in the dream he was hot and very good looking and rescued my ass. But the sad part i was departed from this friend, didnt say goodbye... and i fell in love with the sailor (who could have easily been Popeye x.x) Upon arrival at some weird country, i told this sailor i love him but he just went away... Drama much? I think so...

So what do these dreams interprete? Meeting someone i never met before and i couldn't even remember the face. But i'm thinking he could have just looked like Tarkan or Kaka in captain's uniform (drooool~). And who was the dear friend who got left behind? What thought could possibly cause me to dream about this? And the fact that they all seem so vivid in dreams and just "poof!" disappear the moment i woke up. Maybe i watch too much tv... haha.. i don't know...

Tarkan :) hotness

Old people told me once to avoid getting nightmares at night, ALWAYS wash your legs. I dont know why though, supposedly washing legs keeps the monsters away coz they're clean? make sense, no? And recite some prayers meaning (I live and die by the name of God). The scariest dream i had was being pressed by something heavy and big causing me to choke and couldnt breathe. But this is common (or so i heared) and has many, many religious, and scientific explanation i wont bore you with right now.

Do dreams really tell you something? Or are they just drama in your sleep? If not carefully understood, it can be part of your own reality and drive you into insanity. Make a dream journal and you'll see how some recurring dream events can be really peculiar.

Credits for Mariusz Janik for this blog insipiration :) Thanks ^^

WHY DO PEOPLE BRAG?

Christina Aguilera : You must talk so big, to make up for smaller things!~

After spending 6 months hiding from the real world and living life online, I finally opened the doors to the world of REALITY and to my surprise, NOTHING’s changed. Everyone I met has a story to tell, and they’re ALL about self-promoting, letting me into DETAILS on how great a person he/she is. At one point, it gets lame and predictable.

So why do people do it? From bragging they can bring income to the company, to telling me how they can control the Bossman (lol if they knew I can do that easy), to announcing their intelligence and “awesome working talents”, to rubbing it in my face they are all about act, not talk… and not forgetting “I can do more than this, I just don’t want to”

Sexism aside, ALL guys do this. They even brag about being addicted to alcohol beverages, can smoke 12 ciggarettes under 2 minutes and how “I can marry a girl anytime I want and leave her if im bored”. I mean seriously, why brag about being a jerk? Why to me? Do I look like a person who would praise guys for being self-acclaimed assholes? And what’s the point of showing of money in your pocket when you obviously smell like methane that can burn down KLCC if ignited.

And not forgetting the girls with 5 inches of make up on their faces and dresses in super-tight tops that practically squeezes the boobs and stomach (layers) into extreme-revelation, bragging how they all know about “the latest trend” and how they are aware of Prada’s latest design and Armani’s latest perfume and somehow still appear in cheap musks and clothes from the rejects of Carolina Herera’s fashion show 20 years ago. And realizing that, changed suddenly to “oh I don’t really care about designers I buy whatever I think is nice” So what was the point of telling me you cared about them in the first place??? Besides that, girls also have this annoying habit of telling you how they have 5 men going after them, and they don’t know which to choose (supposedly they’re hot and wanted). And somehow end up single like me… zzzz…

So why are all these strangers bragging to me? Are they trying to impress me? Or annoy me? I’m so curious on why people have to TELL me what they have (or dont have) instead of leaving it a mystery which would be more exciting. There are some things I rather see myself and evaluate then being forced to. Sigh… people… I guess Christina is right.

People do talk big, just to make up for the smaller things. *wink*

I'm a single mom! Pay me!

I am not speaking or accusing the whole community of single moms of being a pain in the ass. In fact, these are the people i truly respect for their courage, strength and dedication to raise their children without a man's help. In Malaysia, Single mothers are 90% Divorced or Widowed. Not the "touch and go kind" One peculiar woman, in her early 50s, i met 2 days ago, just annoyed the hell out of me. Highly defensive and rude, she threatened to beat the hell out of me. One word for her. BITCH!

I wont write the details of what happened here coz it might take like 5 hours and bore you all to death. To make long story short, my friend (who got herself involved in a minor accident with this woman's son) went to pay the how you call it... compensation money, about RM300. (100 USD)

By the way she greeted us, i knew it was gonna be a hell of an adventure. I was right. She sat on her lazy chair, her "injured" son on a sofa and started her bitching.

The way she looked down on me was apalling. "My son is a degree holder who's gonna do his masters in a few days. My daughter is also currently doing her degree. All my children are successful people with a strong religious faith." She continued, "My son never stop praising God during his whole drive on the road so how on earth is this his fault?" And then she looked at us up down unaware that im an upper class degree holder too.

Then her defensive act revealed. "I am a single mother but don't think i am scum in the society. I raised my son all by myself and I protect them from people like you. (people like me wtf??)And if i didnt have more patience i would already beat u two to death. I want more compensate money to buy him all the stuff again! Don't u dare think we single mothers can be bullied."

I was like "WHAT THE F@ck???" I realized this bitch is useless to argue with. later, her words just faded into "bitch... nag... bitch nag..."

1. So what if your stupid gay son (yeh a few hours later i found out her son is gay) has a degree in councelling? I have one too i didnt use it as a defensive act! Nothing special.
2. Being or acting religious wont win a court 's case. Dumbass.
3. So what if u praise God during your whole journey on the road? If that ever works, i would already have a good husband and career as i have been praying to god all my life.~
4. So what if you're a single mother and have to raise children on your own? Sorry but my compassion is limited and i'm already spending my sympathy on starving people in Africa or Animals being abused. Single mothers? You're just as Normal as everyone else.
5. Beat me to death? Zzzzzz... Because her son fell off a motorbike and ripped his pants? LOL!

Why is it such a big deal being a single mother that it becomes an excuse and defensive statement? I didnt even say anything about single mom being at the bottom of the food chain of my society and yet she was eager to rub it in my face that she's a superstar. Gosh. I wish she'd spend her time on thanking God her son is still alive, instead of thanking God she can use her 'single mom' status as an excuse for compensate money.

Unresolved Resolutions

I am a diary keeper. I have like series of diaries since i was 13 and walking the path of teenagehood. Those days (1997) there was no such thing as "emo". People were either nerds, goth or normal. I was half nerd and half goth. Nerd because i was always struggling in studies (to impress people) and goth because of the ammount of eyeliner and make up i used to put on my face. Well, i meant a lot for a 13 year old. Those days was filled with made-up drama about boys, puppy love, and friends and trying to figure out who the hell you are. Fast forward to my life 7 years later something caught my attention. One of the diary entries was a list of New year resolution. And yes. It made me laugh.

1. Learn to cook.
Yeh that was what u call, an epic fail. I cant cook anything that isnt either burnt or undercook. But i enjoyed it. The only part i hate about cooking is cleaning up after. Evidently though, i can at least bake cakes and cookies (ALWAYS always referring to recipe books ofcourse) so my future husband (at that time was supposed to be Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park and *barf* Fred Durst) wont be starving.

2. Love My Boyfriend
Hahaha... This was funny. At 20 i was in a steady relationship with some dude at college. (no names here of course) and had trouble of ummm... loving him. Yeh i was faithful Basically because i was acne-faced and i had no options. And my boyfriend that time practically wallpapered my forehead with a huge "This is my GF. KEEP OFF" sign. But this as a resolution? haha wth...

3. Be a Vegetarian
HAHAHA~ I would have, honestly if vegetables tasted like chicken instead of leaves. I was supporting anti-animal-cruelty i decided to become a vegetarion. And until now, I'm still deciding.

4. Study and get 4.00 cpa.
Awww... At this time it was a resolution and i got to give myself credit because i managed to score a 4.00 at my final semester. But of course i lost friends and i turned from half nerd-half goth to full time nerd.

5. Be Religious and Pray 5 Times a Day
Like every year, this resolution is always on the list. I was pretty much a religious girl back then. Prolly as a HUGE excuse to not have sex with my boyfriend that time haha (ye at 20 sex for me was ugly and gross). This will come around again of course, hopefully as a guide not excuse.

Well, flippin through the pages there are still some hilariously unresolved resolutions i need to get back on. Some of them include "get a good fashion sense" and "diet (idk why though i was weighing 45 kg when i was 20, i probably wanted to become a twig)" and "play sports" which never really turned out like i expected.. So I wonder what will my next year resolution be.

How to quit an online game addiction

Tales of Pirates, igg.com, Moonlight server, -Demi Gods guild-

If I can answer this question I would be awarded a double PhD in psychology alongside with a Nobel Prize for finally solving one of mankind’s worst disease.

Tales of Pirate, igg.com, Phoenix server -SingaMalaya Guild-

1. Know what addiction means

Addiction is, according to dictionary.com ,the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

--> causes severe trauma :) hahaha I can’t help but to laugh at this, but it’s so true.

2. Know when u are addicted

When the Real World starts to look like your game screen or when you start to feel emotions that arises from the game, when the game people are your only friends and when you start spending your salary or allowance on a game, it’s a RED LIGHT warning that you have just become a pure MMORPG addict. It is time to press the pause button while you still can.

Tales of pirates, igg.com, Phoenix server -iNsighT guild-

3. Try taking a break

One of the things NOT to do when quitting is ANNOUNCE to people you’re quitting and make a grand goodbye. It doesn’t really work. The trick is to do it at the most random time and never force yourself to do it. Try taking a break from it and filling up your time with another hobby such as reading or *ahem* blogging. This will slowly fade your interest towards the game and gradually will help you forget about it.

4. Taking RANDOM destructive DRASTIC actions / alternative to step 3 xD

A friend of mine told me how he quit the game. Uninstall it. It’s brutal, it’s on the spot, it works. Another action is to give away your stuff in the game to random people so you’ll have nothing to go back to. Cut-off any connection you have with your game friends and pretend as if the game never happened in your life. Harsh. But it saves a life. Yours.

5. Log in the game to make a closure

Noo! Not log in the game to play again x.x Closures are what help people put an end to things. Log back in game after the long break and find EVERY single reason to quit. For example, you’re game character is not as strong as others because of your long break, your friends forgot about you, you are constantly being ignored by everyone you knew, and how the game causes you more sadness than happiness. (this is the emo guide of qutting a MMORPG)

6. Do step #4 if you haven’t already.

7. If neither of those steps work, write down a weird set of number/letter/symbol combination. For example !@m@L053R and make it your game password. Then burn the paper so you will never be able to log back into the game again xD

8. Just accept the fact that being in front of the computer playing video games for hours and hours is really unhealthy and makes you fat, ugly and useless. Just take a deep breath, quit and do useful stuff you been missing out like chores, partying, watch movies, TV etc etc. If you need online friends or games, there’s always FACEBOOK which is less addictive. (well idk, I got some friends who are reeeeeeally addicted to FB). It’s your own decision to quit or not. Your choice. Your health. Your Life.

Tales of Pirates, igg.com moonlight server -deadsox guild-

MALAYSIAN DRIVERS SUCK DONKEY A**!~

Except me xD

I just realized my blogs have been nainly focused on relationship problems im sure people are getting bored. I'm not a good symbol of success in the love department anyways. As i was driving through the roads of Malacca two days ago i was reminded that i needed to blog about how SUCKY Malaysian drivers are. Selfish. Stupid. Irresponsible.

There was once a time when i was driving home from KLIA with my brother and overdrove a couple who were probably giving one another a BJ since they were driving at 20 km/h. Suddenly the guy saw me overtakin them and he pressed on the accelerator so i couldnt return to my lane. Sacringly enough it was a two lane road and there was a truck coming over my way. The good thing is i dont panic when it comes to situations like these (i just panic when i get lost) so i had to slam in the brakes an return to my lane behind the asshole's car.

The good thing about my car is the acceleration power. (sorry guys idk any mechanical terms) And the BJ dudes' car was kind off old and noobish. At the chance i get I rammed my accelerator and overdrove him, this time with SPEED and my bro gave them the "finger". Then as an act of revenge, i drove 20km/h in front of them and when they tried to overtake me i accelerated. And boy it pissed them off i could imagine the BJ didnt turn out so well. try to get me killed again asshole~

Another situation in Jalan Tun Razak, KL. There was a girl driver trying to get out from a roadside parking and caused a minor traffic jam. I didnt mind it at all since traffic jams happen a LOT in KL. But suddenly a dude came out from his car and started yelling at the girl driver. He was practically smashing her window and scaring the hell out of the poor girl. There were curses and yelling and he was kicking her door. I was like WTF?! People came around to see wth was happening and NOONE stopped the guy from acting like a madman. I would say the girl was lucky to have her doors locked. And yes, in his car was his girlfriend feeling PROUD to have such a "Brave" boyfriend who supposedly saved KL from traffic jam. In my opinion? What a stupid JERK. It didnt resolved the jamn it made it worse.

Don't even let me get started with the truck drivers in Malaysia. They are the road main murderers killing like 100 people a day. Mostly being handled by drunken people I suggest you stay away from driving too close from them.

Motorcyclists. Uuuuurrrghhhh! I as a civilian would like to BEG for the government to do something to CONTROL the population of motorcycles in Malaysia. They are as annoying as FLIES hovering a pile of poop. They are EVERYWHERE and the worst part is you have to put them priority because supposedly their lives are "fragile". That's when they act so stupidly and gay. Driving in front of you, coming from nowhere, slowing you down... Almost making you hit them. I have a HUGE dislike towards motorcyclisti just wish they stop breeding X.X Oh and dont get into trouble with one, coz when you do, a WHOLE pack of them come with helmets and baseball bats to smash your windows. No mater whose fault it was.

Sigh, i wish there will be one day where these Malaysian drivers would have some sense of responsbility and stop being so self-centered. And learn to STOP at a zebra crossing -_-

Why women cheat?!

Why do men cheat? Well the answer is simple. They're men. It's what they do. They treat women as women treat clothes. Wanting variety as wearing the same clothes is "boring". But modern days shows women and men as equals, and we with progestrone hormones commit the same crime. Yes. Women cheat. Googling this issue on the net today, i found a cool research on why WOMEN (as oppose to men cheat). And according to Askmen.com here are the reasons.

10. NOT ENOUGH SEX
Well like men, we do like to feel satisfied every now and then. Not the boring routine of pleasing his own needs and then the "oh im so drained. good night." Unlike men, women find the kissing and cuddling more satisfying than the maincourse itself. Sex is emotional, not an activity for us girls. Yes we are attention whores. If you can't provide it, we move on. "NEXT!"

9. BEING THE BAD GIRL
Expecting us to be the good girl who listens to u all the time, staying at home being goody goody is just WRONG. Like men we want to be admired, worshipped and we want to RAWR! If men can't make her feel this, might as well find someone who will. Women want to know all the time that she have options. One boyfriend is sometimes just not enough. The devil may be released from the angel once in a while. It's up to men to figure out how to handle these wave of hunger.

8. SELF ESTEEM
Yes. Cheating boosts the self esteem. Makes women feel there's always plan B when the unstable relationship she is being provided falls apart.

7. REVENGE/paybacks for past-wrong
Do it once, shame on you. Do it twice, shame on us. Once you had broken the relationship by cheating on women, or being the reason you fell apart they will ALWAYS cheat on you. Once a relationship has been broken, it will NEVER be the same. It's kind of the main reason why broken up couples should NOT get back together. And the confidence in the relationship has been destroyed, so women will always seek for another. Some may do it for revenge. Some just for the sake of it.
6. LACK OF INTIMACY
Like #10 this is the part where men are so newb at. God created Eve to be Adam's companion. She was made from his weakest rib bone to symbolize the fragileness (self-made word) of womanhood. Women NEEDS love and attention. We need to be cared about, to be told that we are loved, to be reminded that we are beautiful. Women needs to be touched, not just physically but directly where it counts the most. The HEART.

5. FEELING NEGLECTED/IGNORED/UNAPPRECIATED
An ex of mine once asked me why is he never enough for me. Why must there always be other men in my life. Well here's the answer. I WAS UNAPPRECIATED. I was treated like a switch he could turn off and on anytime he wants to. I am a place he can curse and yell at and say whatever comes in mind. I dont cheat to sleep with other men. I just wanted to be NOTICED. to be APPRECIATED. And until I can get this from one man. There will always be another.

4. MEN's EMOTIONAL WITHDRAWAL
Once a man decided to stop listening, it's when a woman decided to stop talking. And when a woman decided to stop talking, it's a sign she's moving on. When a man doesn't help his woman emotionally, she will seek someone who will.

3. BEDROOM BOREDOM
When a man couldn't be bothered to put his own needs aside for 2 minutes to do what a girl wants, it get's boring. We need to be entertained too. "Next!"

2. EXIT STRATEGY
Instead of breaking up with you, we cheat on you. Why? so we dont have to go through the "heart-broken" phase. Women can sense sometimes when a relationship is falling apart. Smart. But evil.

1. REVENGE FOR YOUR CHEATING
None of my boyfriends really cheated on me (thank God!) but during a "break-up" phase one did involve another woman in. And the visual image couldnt leave my head. It's a sign of disaster in this relationship because there are things that can't be forgiven. The bitterness of the affair will always haunt my head. And for that i could never stop seeking for another man's attention.

It's just ego, guys. Don't give us any reason to stray. And we are yours to be forever <3