Unresolved Resolutions

I am a diary keeper. I have like series of diaries since i was 13 and walking the path of teenagehood. Those days (1997) there was no such thing as "emo". People were either nerds, goth or normal. I was half nerd and half goth. Nerd because i was always struggling in studies (to impress people) and goth because of the ammount of eyeliner and make up i used to put on my face. Well, i meant a lot for a 13 year old. Those days was filled with made-up drama about boys, puppy love, and friends and trying to figure out who the hell you are. Fast forward to my life 7 years later something caught my attention. One of the diary entries was a list of New year resolution. And yes. It made me laugh.

1. Learn to cook.
Yeh that was what u call, an epic fail. I cant cook anything that isnt either burnt or undercook. But i enjoyed it. The only part i hate about cooking is cleaning up after. Evidently though, i can at least bake cakes and cookies (ALWAYS always referring to recipe books ofcourse) so my future husband (at that time was supposed to be Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park and *barf* Fred Durst) wont be starving.

2. Love My Boyfriend
Hahaha... This was funny. At 20 i was in a steady relationship with some dude at college. (no names here of course) and had trouble of ummm... loving him. Yeh i was faithful Basically because i was acne-faced and i had no options. And my boyfriend that time practically wallpapered my forehead with a huge "This is my GF. KEEP OFF" sign. But this as a resolution? haha wth...

3. Be a Vegetarian
HAHAHA~ I would have, honestly if vegetables tasted like chicken instead of leaves. I was supporting anti-animal-cruelty i decided to become a vegetarion. And until now, I'm still deciding.

4. Study and get 4.00 cpa.
Awww... At this time it was a resolution and i got to give myself credit because i managed to score a 4.00 at my final semester. But of course i lost friends and i turned from half nerd-half goth to full time nerd.

5. Be Religious and Pray 5 Times a Day
Like every year, this resolution is always on the list. I was pretty much a religious girl back then. Prolly as a HUGE excuse to not have sex with my boyfriend that time haha (ye at 20 sex for me was ugly and gross). This will come around again of course, hopefully as a guide not excuse.

Well, flippin through the pages there are still some hilariously unresolved resolutions i need to get back on. Some of them include "get a good fashion sense" and "diet (idk why though i was weighing 45 kg when i was 20, i probably wanted to become a twig)" and "play sports" which never really turned out like i expected.. So I wonder what will my next year resolution be.

How to quit an online game addiction

Tales of Pirates, igg.com, Moonlight server, -Demi Gods guild-

If I can answer this question I would be awarded a double PhD in psychology alongside with a Nobel Prize for finally solving one of mankind’s worst disease.

Tales of Pirate, igg.com, Phoenix server -SingaMalaya Guild-

1. Know what addiction means

Addiction is, according to dictionary.com ,the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.

--> causes severe trauma :) hahaha I can’t help but to laugh at this, but it’s so true.

2. Know when u are addicted

When the Real World starts to look like your game screen or when you start to feel emotions that arises from the game, when the game people are your only friends and when you start spending your salary or allowance on a game, it’s a RED LIGHT warning that you have just become a pure MMORPG addict. It is time to press the pause button while you still can.

Tales of pirates, igg.com, Phoenix server -iNsighT guild-

3. Try taking a break

One of the things NOT to do when quitting is ANNOUNCE to people you’re quitting and make a grand goodbye. It doesn’t really work. The trick is to do it at the most random time and never force yourself to do it. Try taking a break from it and filling up your time with another hobby such as reading or *ahem* blogging. This will slowly fade your interest towards the game and gradually will help you forget about it.

4. Taking RANDOM destructive DRASTIC actions / alternative to step 3 xD

A friend of mine told me how he quit the game. Uninstall it. It’s brutal, it’s on the spot, it works. Another action is to give away your stuff in the game to random people so you’ll have nothing to go back to. Cut-off any connection you have with your game friends and pretend as if the game never happened in your life. Harsh. But it saves a life. Yours.

5. Log in the game to make a closure

Noo! Not log in the game to play again x.x Closures are what help people put an end to things. Log back in game after the long break and find EVERY single reason to quit. For example, you’re game character is not as strong as others because of your long break, your friends forgot about you, you are constantly being ignored by everyone you knew, and how the game causes you more sadness than happiness. (this is the emo guide of qutting a MMORPG)

6. Do step #4 if you haven’t already.

7. If neither of those steps work, write down a weird set of number/letter/symbol combination. For example !@m@L053R and make it your game password. Then burn the paper so you will never be able to log back into the game again xD

8. Just accept the fact that being in front of the computer playing video games for hours and hours is really unhealthy and makes you fat, ugly and useless. Just take a deep breath, quit and do useful stuff you been missing out like chores, partying, watch movies, TV etc etc. If you need online friends or games, there’s always FACEBOOK which is less addictive. (well idk, I got some friends who are reeeeeeally addicted to FB). It’s your own decision to quit or not. Your choice. Your health. Your Life.

Tales of Pirates, igg.com moonlight server -deadsox guild-

MALAYSIAN DRIVERS SUCK DONKEY A**!~

Except me xD

I just realized my blogs have been nainly focused on relationship problems im sure people are getting bored. I'm not a good symbol of success in the love department anyways. As i was driving through the roads of Malacca two days ago i was reminded that i needed to blog about how SUCKY Malaysian drivers are. Selfish. Stupid. Irresponsible.

There was once a time when i was driving home from KLIA with my brother and overdrove a couple who were probably giving one another a BJ since they were driving at 20 km/h. Suddenly the guy saw me overtakin them and he pressed on the accelerator so i couldnt return to my lane. Sacringly enough it was a two lane road and there was a truck coming over my way. The good thing is i dont panic when it comes to situations like these (i just panic when i get lost) so i had to slam in the brakes an return to my lane behind the asshole's car.

The good thing about my car is the acceleration power. (sorry guys idk any mechanical terms) And the BJ dudes' car was kind off old and noobish. At the chance i get I rammed my accelerator and overdrove him, this time with SPEED and my bro gave them the "finger". Then as an act of revenge, i drove 20km/h in front of them and when they tried to overtake me i accelerated. And boy it pissed them off i could imagine the BJ didnt turn out so well. try to get me killed again asshole~

Another situation in Jalan Tun Razak, KL. There was a girl driver trying to get out from a roadside parking and caused a minor traffic jam. I didnt mind it at all since traffic jams happen a LOT in KL. But suddenly a dude came out from his car and started yelling at the girl driver. He was practically smashing her window and scaring the hell out of the poor girl. There were curses and yelling and he was kicking her door. I was like WTF?! People came around to see wth was happening and NOONE stopped the guy from acting like a madman. I would say the girl was lucky to have her doors locked. And yes, in his car was his girlfriend feeling PROUD to have such a "Brave" boyfriend who supposedly saved KL from traffic jam. In my opinion? What a stupid JERK. It didnt resolved the jamn it made it worse.

Don't even let me get started with the truck drivers in Malaysia. They are the road main murderers killing like 100 people a day. Mostly being handled by drunken people I suggest you stay away from driving too close from them.

Motorcyclists. Uuuuurrrghhhh! I as a civilian would like to BEG for the government to do something to CONTROL the population of motorcycles in Malaysia. They are as annoying as FLIES hovering a pile of poop. They are EVERYWHERE and the worst part is you have to put them priority because supposedly their lives are "fragile". That's when they act so stupidly and gay. Driving in front of you, coming from nowhere, slowing you down... Almost making you hit them. I have a HUGE dislike towards motorcyclisti just wish they stop breeding X.X Oh and dont get into trouble with one, coz when you do, a WHOLE pack of them come with helmets and baseball bats to smash your windows. No mater whose fault it was.

Sigh, i wish there will be one day where these Malaysian drivers would have some sense of responsbility and stop being so self-centered. And learn to STOP at a zebra crossing -_-

Why women cheat?!

Why do men cheat? Well the answer is simple. They're men. It's what they do. They treat women as women treat clothes. Wanting variety as wearing the same clothes is "boring". But modern days shows women and men as equals, and we with progestrone hormones commit the same crime. Yes. Women cheat. Googling this issue on the net today, i found a cool research on why WOMEN (as oppose to men cheat). And according to Askmen.com here are the reasons.

10. NOT ENOUGH SEX
Well like men, we do like to feel satisfied every now and then. Not the boring routine of pleasing his own needs and then the "oh im so drained. good night." Unlike men, women find the kissing and cuddling more satisfying than the maincourse itself. Sex is emotional, not an activity for us girls. Yes we are attention whores. If you can't provide it, we move on. "NEXT!"

9. BEING THE BAD GIRL
Expecting us to be the good girl who listens to u all the time, staying at home being goody goody is just WRONG. Like men we want to be admired, worshipped and we want to RAWR! If men can't make her feel this, might as well find someone who will. Women want to know all the time that she have options. One boyfriend is sometimes just not enough. The devil may be released from the angel once in a while. It's up to men to figure out how to handle these wave of hunger.

8. SELF ESTEEM
Yes. Cheating boosts the self esteem. Makes women feel there's always plan B when the unstable relationship she is being provided falls apart.

7. REVENGE/paybacks for past-wrong
Do it once, shame on you. Do it twice, shame on us. Once you had broken the relationship by cheating on women, or being the reason you fell apart they will ALWAYS cheat on you. Once a relationship has been broken, it will NEVER be the same. It's kind of the main reason why broken up couples should NOT get back together. And the confidence in the relationship has been destroyed, so women will always seek for another. Some may do it for revenge. Some just for the sake of it.
6. LACK OF INTIMACY
Like #10 this is the part where men are so newb at. God created Eve to be Adam's companion. She was made from his weakest rib bone to symbolize the fragileness (self-made word) of womanhood. Women NEEDS love and attention. We need to be cared about, to be told that we are loved, to be reminded that we are beautiful. Women needs to be touched, not just physically but directly where it counts the most. The HEART.

5. FEELING NEGLECTED/IGNORED/UNAPPRECIATED
An ex of mine once asked me why is he never enough for me. Why must there always be other men in my life. Well here's the answer. I WAS UNAPPRECIATED. I was treated like a switch he could turn off and on anytime he wants to. I am a place he can curse and yell at and say whatever comes in mind. I dont cheat to sleep with other men. I just wanted to be NOTICED. to be APPRECIATED. And until I can get this from one man. There will always be another.

4. MEN's EMOTIONAL WITHDRAWAL
Once a man decided to stop listening, it's when a woman decided to stop talking. And when a woman decided to stop talking, it's a sign she's moving on. When a man doesn't help his woman emotionally, she will seek someone who will.

3. BEDROOM BOREDOM
When a man couldn't be bothered to put his own needs aside for 2 minutes to do what a girl wants, it get's boring. We need to be entertained too. "Next!"

2. EXIT STRATEGY
Instead of breaking up with you, we cheat on you. Why? so we dont have to go through the "heart-broken" phase. Women can sense sometimes when a relationship is falling apart. Smart. But evil.

1. REVENGE FOR YOUR CHEATING
None of my boyfriends really cheated on me (thank God!) but during a "break-up" phase one did involve another woman in. And the visual image couldnt leave my head. It's a sign of disaster in this relationship because there are things that can't be forgiven. The bitterness of the affair will always haunt my head. And for that i could never stop seeking for another man's attention.

It's just ego, guys. Don't give us any reason to stray. And we are yours to be forever <3

A Woman's View : How to handle your girl on PMS

Pre-Menstrual syndrome or stress or also defined as Pre-menstrual Tension is a phase that happens EVERY month in an average girl's life. It mainly affects on emotional responses makin the girl more sensitive and as people nowadays call "emo" and every single little thing can make her overeact and change to pissy mode. Not all girls suffer this (yeah note that *suffer*, it's not pleasent at all) but majority of us do.

GUYSSSS CHILL!!!

Remember it's just a PHASE. (unless your girlfriend feeds on emo cookies and is emo for life) My normal PMS days are usually 1-2 days before the REAL period and 1 day during, sometimes one day after. So normally my average PMS phase lasts for 4 days. This is the moment where EVERYTHING is wrong. From the "I love you"s not being said enough to 10 hours of spending time together a day is "too short"

I'm not going to discuss on the scientific aspect of this situation you can look it up on wikepedia.

Bear with us, guys :) Not only do we have to suffer the menstrual cramps (trust me, the pain can even make a girl black out... Sometimes almost like giving birth) which drains out our energy, but we also have to take extra care on cleanliness and not to mention our bodies get supersensitive (low antibody) and exposed to all kinds of sickness, from migraine to diarrhea (sp?) so ye, i think that gives u every reason to walk around feeling like the whole world is trying to get us >.<

How to handle? Well don't try too hard. and DON'T NOT try at all. Just act normal and when she complains about how hard her life is, even when u just came back from a very stressful day, just listen and keep reminding her that everything will be okay.Yeah, giving too much attention may make her crave more and take a lot of your time, but hey, all we ask for is undying love and attention for 4 days in a month! Stop complaining when you ask for sex 120 times a month!

1. Make her feel attractive. PMS makes a girl feel totally ugly and gross so make her feel beautiful. Be creative.
2. Take her to awesome dinner restaurants. Don't let her cook unless u wannna taste a spoonful of cyanide.
3. Make surprise gestures like buy gifts (trust me, even a keychain would make her happy)
4. Call her (if ur away) every 30 mins-1 hour to check if she's feeling all right
5. Make her laugh, spend time with her, do something fun to distract her from the PMS phase (even if it backfires, the fact that u tried would make her happy)
6. Art therapy. Write a poem even if it sounds stupid. or just sing for her, even if it sounds more stupid.
7. Remind her again and again you love her and everything will be all right.
8. Kiss, hug, hold her hand all the time. Body contact is always welcome. Symbol of comfort.
9. LISTEN. When she nags, talk, complain.. LISTEN and always agree. ALWAYS AGREE.
10. Don't be a stranger. Just treat her like you always do that makes her love you everyday.


Don't see us as a different person just because of this. Ye the demons may make us wanna feed on your flesh but honestly we're very harmless. Just keep reminding your girl you're there for her and remind her things will be better. And ALWAYS pay attention unless you want her to go raid your garage for a chainsaw.

GOOD LUCK ^^ cheers

Commitments zzzzzz

Is it possible for men to actually be in love? Is it true that a dude can keep his **** in his pants when a sexy half naked woman walks in front of him? Can a man really be deeply in love and faithful towards his woman? Is there such thing as “loyalty” in the dictionary of manhood? My experience reveals…

YES. I am one of the lucky women to have never had a man cheat on me. Well none that I know of, of course. All my boyfriends were either too obsessed with our relationship or too addicted to keeping me close, that it gets pretty boring and lame. But as for the question, whether a man can be loyal to a woman, my answer is a simple “yes, if he wants to”

Commitment is a fairly serious issue for both women and men. Some people think that a woman is born with natural faithfulness and the need to get married and settle down as soon as possible. It’s like a general belief that a man has more potential to be afraid of commitment and hence when a man proposes to a woman, it’s a BIG thing.

It’s nice to be loved by a man where you know you’re the first thing in his mind when he wakes up and the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep, with some appearances in his dreams. You’re the one he’s crazy about, the one he would do anything for, the one who would listen (or pretend to) to your venting each and every day. It’s just a lovely feeling to have someone who’s always on your side even when you’re clearly in the wrong and would fight off people including their life buddies just to make sure you’re happy. When a man loves a woman, she’s been touched by an angel :)

But despite all those rainbow and butterflies emotional shower of romance, is he really as loyal as he appears to be?

“it’s just… the need for some space and sense of freedom and the good feeling of still being a market figure…” was an answer from an old friend of mine. He’s 30, married with two kids but goes out every weekend for beers and women.

“I love her but I need my own time for pleasure…” was an answer from another friend, having a beautiful girlfriend (“my soulmate” he says) but goes out with another girl just for the sex.

Put those words in a woman’s mouth and she’s a slut. But honestly, guys… we feel everything that you do. Maybe women are born with more braincells and a better sense of judging what’s wrong and right and we kinda think of the consequences before taking actions but when feelings are concerned? We feel exactly the same as men.

Women do long for that feeling of still being a market figure, walking around town turning heads around. (That’s why Mother Nature invented make up and fashion) Women do feel like they want some freedom for “pleasure” And trust me... Women need some Time OUT.

And just like men who can be loyal “If they want to”, so do we. We can dedicate and give our whole heart to ONE man. Most of us already do that well, anyway. As for me, when I love a man, he’s the only one with access to my heart and I live my days just to make him happy. I go to deep lengths (such as watching boring movies just to make him happy that I did), and I give him my heart, soul and love. When a woman loves a man, he’s the one she lives for, he’s the one she’d die for…

So Commitment, loyalty, trust and faithfulness goes both ways :)

Dear Lie, you suck...

Why do people lie? To save their asses? To get what they want? Most of the people omit truth when they are afraid of the consequences of telling fact. So they chose to hide behind lies. Then what happens when it spills by itself? The consequences will get tougher. And the hurt would be indeed, deeper.

Someone very dear once told me even the worst truth is better than a lie. Of course I have been lied to, and i have committed lies myself. But years taught me im better off without and no matter what, sooner or later the truth will come out itself and it gets tougher to fix when series of lies are chained onto one another... So might as well save the pain and face the truth before it gets nasty.

White lies are those who are concerned with the protection of someone’s feelings. These are the lies for noble causes and it doesn’t hurt anybody. Well I supposed some situations do apply... Like when you see your friend looking at her worst, a huge zit on her forehead or hair resembling medusa, a little white lie would actually build up her confidence and strengthen your friendship. Telling people they look nice when they actually dont, is just human courtesy.

But what is NOT forgiven is when you know the truth and yet that one person lives in denial, doing everything he could to let that one issue be clouded with all the lies. Betrayed... Deceived... feelings of hurt overwhelm you and makin your heart just burns with anger and hatred. The truth is right in front of your eyes and yet he's lying to you.

"you will regret this when you know the truth!" He told me, as if all the things he said was true.

Well, I do know the truth, it's laying there in front of my eyes. I will never forget the day, the time where everything turned out to be just lies... As for me. I cant forgive. I wont ...